Husband forcing for divorce
Hi I'm Rinku, 33yrs female from India.i m a doctor and I got married to a doctor 5years back, it was a arranged marriage. Our relationship was harmonious in the beginng, but after two years of marriage he started to threaten me of divorce on every small quarrel. He beat me first time when I was 2and half months pregnant, the reason for the beating was that I forgot to put date on my notes in the hospital. I went to my parents house after that and remained there for 10 months. He apologised later on after giving birth to a baby girl. My biggest mistake was coming back to him with my daughter, because later I found out that he never wanted me to come back, he apologised to me because his mother and sister forced him. Since then I have experienced domestic violence a lot of times. He has abused me financially also, he knew my ATM pin, so he withdrew as much money as he could from my account, he gave diff important reasons for the withdrawal, but later I found out that my account is empty. Recently, on an incident which took place in the hospital he started abusing me badly, which I could not tolerate, and I slapped him. After that slap, he had beaten me badly with a rod. I decided to complain about him to my medical supritendent, I wanted to give written complaint against him, but our hospital MS told me to deal with it verbally and not to give anything in written as this can ruin his carrier. They called a meeting including all the senior authorities of the hospital. They tried to make him understand but he refused to understand anything. Since then he is forcing for divorce, as according to him I insulted him by making it a public issue. 1week after this incidence I came to know about my second pregnancy, I want to continue this relationship for the sake of my children. But he is least interested in patch up. I m confused what should I do now. Please give me some advise.
First I want to say that I'm glad to see you seeking help. It shows me you realize this is a problem. This man has seriously physically abused you twice. I don't think this is going to stop. I understand wanting what is best for your children, but consider that what is best for your children is what is best for you. Growing up in a household where their mother is beaten all the time, possibly them being beaten as well, is going to do some serious psychological damage to both of your children. It's your choice whether to pursue this man again or not, but I truly believe that if you did you would be doing your kids a disservice. It seems he would rather divorce and remain that way, and if I were you I would take that chance and run. Find somewhere where you and both of your children will be safe and happy. Your current marriage is not where you will find that.
I hate to say this but I agree with ash. This man has physically abused you twice and had no regards that the first time he beat you, you were pregnant with his child and he could have caused you a miscarriage. He took your money and wiped you account clean and that is very disrespectful! You can do so much better than what you are allowing yourself to be involved with, and your children do not deserve to be around violence, let alone, seeing him beat and abuse you. If he doesn't hesitate to out his hands on you then he won't hesitate to abuse your children because it seems to me he can't resolve problems and conflicts without resorting to violence. You deserve so much better and don't waste your time making it work with him! Life is too short, don't waste it on somebody who is obviously miserable especially of he is going to threaten to divorce you over something stupid and minuscule and beat you over something as stupid as as small mistake on paperwork. Really? You can do better and you need to tell yourself that.
I agree with both of u. But my father says that running away is not the proper solution. I must fight for my rights. Yesterday he again has beaten me for a silly reason. He came home at 1:30 am, I was sleeping. It took some time to open the door for him. So this was the reason for beating. No he was no drunk. I filed a police complaint against him. Let's see what happens next. his behaviour shows that he is happy that I filed a compliant against him. Because now it will be an opportunity for him to divorce me orat least live separately. He doesn't want to take the responsibility of children. He wants to live alone. Sometimes I feel as if he has an affair with someone. He had a lot of girlfriends before marriage. He even had physical relationships with them. I know that it's better for me to live separate. But I also want justice. Living with responsibility of two children is not easy.
I would recommend you anything as its your life and should live it happily.But its sad to hear about your condition.I dont know how can he behave like this, being so educated.His behavior proves that he is much illiterate at mind.I would like to give you a suggestion that you are a self employed woman and surely earns a good money being a doctor.You can decide about your future with your parents and friends.Divorce is not as easy as it sounds, it leaves a big devastating impact on relations,kids and mind.So before going to a [url= https://plus.google.com/101041975880321802603
]family law lawyer[/url], think about it.Your husband might want it but try to convince him and make him a better person.
Have you tried contacting any legal assistance organizations for women? Can you find a group supporting women and ask them where you can find the help you need? Learn everything you can about your legal rights and options. Talk to a lawyer on your own. Don't ask at the hospital where your husband also works. Your father arranged this marriage, his judgment is not reliable either. You have the right to get these answers for yourself and know what you can do and what to expect. Once you know that, you can prepare yourself better.
You said - "But I also want justice.'
Can you explain what you mean? Because I can't understand a man and woman who are in a profession that says, "First, do no harm" yet you stay (cling) to a marriage that is toxic to all involved.
Time to take care of yourself and your children and find a source to protect your legal rights.