My BF is obsessed with his family
I've been with my boyfriend for almost six years already and i feel like his real identity is only starting to unravel now.
As much as I love him, i really cannot tolerate the fact that we only see each other 2-4 times a month because he has to do things with his family most of the time.
He basically spends every single day with them and even during our 15min-45 min conversations, he still has to assist a random family member cutting our entire conversation in half. Sometimes, he'd cancel weekend dates because he has to be with parents for the weekend. Other times he'd spend dinner dates with them RIGHT AFTER OUR DATE. He has ZERO younger siblings to take care of and mostly his dates are with his mom or older sister and brother. I know family is important and all, but why can't i shake off the feeling that this is not normal anymore?! Is it wrong to want to spend time with him alone? He always insists we stay in his place during the weekend. For the last few years it hasn't bothered me, but now i begin to realize how complicated our situation would be if I allow him to keep on doing things like that especially when he told me he wanted to marry me someday. Is this family issue a deal breaker? How can i break it off when his family is my biggest reason?
Does he live with his parents? It sounds as though he is a teenager in his parents house, but not likely since the two of you have been dating for 6 years? If he is a teen or even under 21 for that matter, just tell him you'd like to spend more time together and be patient. After all, he still needs them right now and is operating under their rules for a bit longer.
On the other hand, if he is an adult and lives alone, you are not wrong in feeling the way you do...ESPECIALLY if he is talking about marriage plans. How is your relationship with his parents? Do they seem to respect you? At the very least, it seems you could be included on the family outings, being that you've been a part of his life for so long. Even then, your BF needs to stop getting breast fed and start being his own individual. But that brings me to the question: Is it his parents who run his life and schedule, or does he choose to be with them on his own? If he is the one choosing to spend more time with them, then he must be too attached and dependent upon them (which is not a good sign for his manhood). If he is simply following their orders, then he must be too afraid to say no or stand up for himself.
So, without knowing WHY he does this, it's hard to help you. You said "he has to do things with his family most of the time". Does he REALLY HAVE to??