I just picked up the pieces. and I think she want me back.
I'm 25 years old. 5 years ago I was dating a girl kind of far away. But I would see her every week. After dating for a year we broke up. I was a different person back then selfish smoking to much weed no work only party. It was a final straw that broke me. I gave up on dating. I feel deep into a depression. I smoked weed and drank in a den of saddness for four years. We kind of of kept in touch but never talked about relationships. After four years of feeling sorry for myself a year ago. I started picking up the pieces.
I'm still soured on dating ( vary lonely but I hide it well) but I started doing martial arts. Witch has completely turned my life around. I have the confidence to start getting ready to move out of my rents place get my own car. You know get on my feet.
Well a week ago she texted me and asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime. Being kind of ok just being friends. I said yea. And we started talking alot. Some flerting and sexy phone play went down. But after talking for a week I found out what she had been up to. She was engaged to a guy and she cheated on him and felt so bad she ran away from the wedding.. blah blah she said she still feels bad about it all the time now. Mabe that's why she's talking to me again. She wants to forget him. But by the conversations we have I can tell she is really happy I'm finally getting my shit together. Idk if she wants a relationship ship or if she is confused in what she wants. But I'm afraid to open up to her. What if I get hurt again. What if she cheats on me this time. Does she even want a relationship am I getting my hope up for nothing. I don't wanna fly to close to the sun only to crash again. Do I even still love her or do I just think I do because I haven't even asked a girl on a date in five years and I'm just starved for attention. But I do care for her varry much. I want her to be happy even if it's not with me I'm just afraid of getting hurt again and falling back into that hole I lived in for 4 years and spent the last year and a half digging out. Only to find the mountain of adulthood to climb and in just now starting my assent. I don't want to fall again.
awwhh bless you..I can relate to your issues with depression its an awful thing the one piece of advice I can give you is dont make this girl responsible for whether you are happy or not. You are just finding who you are and I do not think its time to jump into a relationship especially with this girl who has broken your heart before u need to look at the reasons u broke up in.the first place and then re define the terms of your friendship so it us purely platonic. I also think it wouldd be wise for u to.start dating again and building your confidence rather than putting all your eggs in one basket and staking ur happiness on one person who cut u adrift before and left u to sink, as at the moment you are in dangerous territory where the likelyhood of u getting hurt again is high. Good luck
The question is this, how do you know if it could work with all situations put aside? You have to try, again, give yourself a change man. Also, take it easy, step by step is the way. This is what I call Life and finding meaning purpose and reason to push on!