Husband not understanding
I recently got mariied 3 months ago and moved to a new place. I am currently staying with my husband and both of us are working on the same profession. Before our marriage he isisted me to resign my job of 10 years (a good pay) and to look for a job in his place since the distance is about 350km. At first I requested that i wanted to stay for 3 more months after the wedding to clear all my outstanding projects and will resign my job and will look for a job at his town but he didn't agree due to his parents, brothers and sister will not be happy with this decision. After some discussion even with his family members, no one agrees and all of them isisted me to resign and move to their palce right after the wedding. At last I agreed. When I tender my resignation, my boss convienced me to stay by counter offers with salary increase and promotions. When i explain this to my husband, he still don't allowed me to stay and I have no choice to resign my job.
3 weeks before my last working day, my boss talked to me and said he will set-up an office in for me in the new town where i want to move to. Its about 40km from the house. My boss asked if i would consider to work from there since the company has a good impression on me and that they don't want to lose me. The company then offered me with a good salary package and promotion. I discussed this to my husband and he agreed that i can work in the new office.
The problem starts when i need to travel sometimes to my old office for discussion, meeting, training. When i travel i need to stay at my parents house and my husband & his family doesn't like this. The reason given by them is neighbours are asking why i leave my husband and travel to my parents house....my husband scared to stay alone in the house...worried the relationship will end if i always stay at my parents house...etc...which i can't understand....i am very strong in this relationship...i can't accept this silly reasons...just because of this petty reasons he ask me to resign my job....according to him its difficult for him to answer his neighbours and family....i just dont understand....i feel the beginning period of a married life is very important...i just try to adapt to all new environment and new life here...at this time its very difficult for me to keep arguing on this petty matter...can someone help me please....thank you
Your husband seems very bound to his relatives and influences from his culture and even neighbors. Are there cultural or religious reasons why? Why is he scared to stay in his own house?
You sound like a successful, career-minded, modern woman caught in a old-fashioned world and expected to act like you are in an old fashioned traditional marriage, where the husband and his family dictate your every move.
You must sit down with your husband and ask if he is able to keep up with you and your hopes and plans. Otherwise, there are difficult decisions for you to make in the future.