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Relationship advice Ok so I am 23 and have a twenty year old boyfriend. My boyfriend has a mental disability or a few actually. Because of this his family isn't so sure about him having kids. He brother even got him to get surgery so that he can't have kids. I think its so dumb that his family thinks he couldn't handle a kid and honestly it isn't there decision. I love my boyfriend and can see us possibly getting married one day and I want at least one kid. I think if we decided to get married and have a kid we could handle it. I don't have any disabilities and though my boyfriend does he is managing fine. He would know how to help the kid if it had disabilities. I don't want my boyfriend listening to his family on this topic because it's really not their buisness. At this point my boyfriend and I arent even engaged and havent known each other even a year yet BUT we have disscussed us possibly getting married in the future. I know for a fact I want at least one kid...so how should I go about this topic with my boyfriend?

NOT their decision

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ask him what he wants... he is in this... you are right people with a disability have no problem raising kids...but u should talk to him about this clearly..goodluck

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" He brother even got him to get surgery so that he can't have kids. "

Are you sure? This would take a court order, and I don't even think they are doing this any more! This just doesn't sound right.

There are MANY more steps in your relationship before you think of having kids. He is VERY young - and so are you. Plus, you have just known him for a year. So take things slow and see if he can treat you well and if he is even "marriage" material. (Has money, a car, a career, credit and would be able to support a family)

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Honestly, as much as you love your boyfriend maybe you should slow it down a bit. His family has known him much longer than you. I completely understand where you are coming from but honestly if you ever want to get married to him you should have a deep love and respect for his family instead of trashing his family so early on in the relationship. You are also only hearing one side of the story which is your boyfriend's side of the story this is giving you a biased and unfair reaction. Maybe you should try and listen to both sides of the story and formulate your own opinion rather than basing your opinion on everything that your boyfriend has told you. Be your own person boo, because you are wonderful xo

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Okay yes I am young and trust me I am NOT rushing anything I am a christian and believe in purity til marriage. I am saying that I have decided that I do want a kid or kids one day, no tommorrow, or nest week but ONE DAY and no I don't know for sure we are gonna get married but it is a POSSIBILITY. I have talked to my boyfriend further on this issue and we are thinking about adopting one day if we do end up getting married. Also I love his family he is a pastors son(well was adopted by a pastor and his wife). I do however hold some different opions than they do and will voice them if I feel the need to in a nice and respectful way. I am not even engaged right now nothing is definite. Goodness I didn't know the advice I asked for would be so critical...

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Suggesting that you slow down and look at the situation from ALL angles is NOT critical. It is simply saying that looking at the entire situation is best.

No one is suggesting that you break up. Just that you formulate an honest evaluation of what you do. Only you can do that.

Good luck.

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