Facebook Banner 001

Confused

Posted by
BRENDY
on Mar 6 2015 at 20:52
Member since: 06 March 2015
Relationship advice Hi i have a problem .. I met a girl a few years ago prob about 7 years and we got on really well then we were not in contact for a few years when one day i got a friends request on facebook from her ..We started to chat and got on really well then i was asking her what she got up to since we last meet and she said she had a baby and that ..I didnt really mind that she had a child think the father left were when she became pregnant .. So we chatted for a few months about 3-4 times a week for a few hours on facebook then we meet up one night we went to her house to watch a movie and got on really well.. we meet up a few time and went to the cinema and that .. Then i had to leave and go away for work abroad for 6 months but we still kept in touch we spoke a few times a week when i finished up work and moved back home we meet up again and had great fun and got on really well ..I noticed then after a few months this one week there was something not right with her .. I asked her what was up and she said the childs father came back looking for another chance with her for the child sake ..This was after him leaving her 3 years before she said she was confussed .. I had planned to take her away for her birthday and ask her to be my girlfriend which am sure she would of done before he came back .. She told me then she was really sorry but she was going to give him another chance because of the chill(before this he didnt even come to see the child ) I think he came back and made her feel guilty that she had to do this for the childs sake ..This is now 16 months ago and she still sends me texts and we chat most days for maybe 3-4 hours ..she keeps telling me she doesnt know if she made the right choice because she still thinks of me all the time .. she even looking me to meet up with her and her friends to go out for a night .. she keeps saying the child keeps asking about me as well ..I think she is just with him for the child sake because she be telling me all him and her do is fight .. i really would love to be with her i do love her and she love me as well .i even tried not replying to her for a month and she keep texting most days then when i replyed after a month she keep saying she cant stop thinking about me and the next fight they have she leaving him but then he keeps talking her out of it because of the child .. I told her it didnt bother me that she had the child ..One the first thing she asked me when i text back after a month was was i seeing anybody .. I really would love to be with her i think she the same her sister told me one day she loves me .. I can move on and neither can she .. what do you people suggest i do ..every day she text me i think if she really wanted to be with him she wouldnt be texting me .. any help do you think we get together or what should i do ??
Confused
Reply from
!!!
on Mar 7 2015 at 00:15
Member since: 07 February 2014
Tell her you want her to be yours or let you move on. Give her a date. But I think the baby may be her excuse. Be prepared for the best or the worst. Then make it work or move on.
Confused
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Mar 7 2015 at 13:58
Member since: 27 December 2013
You have given her opportunity to make CHOICES and she has not acted on it. Why?

Things that can keep bad marriages together are sex, money, and the kids.

You are an after-thought to her. She has no intention of leaving this marriage.

Break it off - for your own mental health.

Or accept that this could go on for years! (Oh yeah, it has already)

Confused
Reply from
BRENDY
on Mar 7 2015 at 23:04
Member since: 06 March 2015
Am just not sure every time i say that time to move on she starts saying we should of meet up more and we def would of made it if we were together .. then if i dont text back she just keeps sending me text every day .. I would love if we could get together i do love her i just get deppressed and end up replying to her text just so i can talk to her again
Confused
Reply from
ROSSO
on Mar 8 2015 at 06:15
Member since: 08 March 2015
It seems that she believes that her child would had a better life if the father is living with them. She has to understand that, that is not the case she doesn't need to be with the father so the child has a better life she can just make some spear time for the child to be with the father and that would be fine. My suggestion is to make her see she doesnt need to be with the father for her child have a better life. If you tell her this and she still doesnt leave him well i guess it means she to wants to be with him, not only because of the child. Wish you luck.
Confused
Reply from
BRENDY
on Mar 8 2015 at 14:18
Member since: 06 March 2015
Yes i understand this but if she wants to be with him that much why does she keep texting me ??
Confused
Reply from
BRENDY
on Mar 13 2015 at 19:47
Member since: 06 March 2015
I HAVE TOLD HER THERE NO POINT IN US TEXTING ANYMORE THAT SHE PICKED WHO SHE WANTED TO BE WITH AND SHE RELYED SAYING SHE REALLY DOES LIKE ME AND THAT SHE DID TRY BREAK IT OFF WITH HIM A FEW TIMES BUT THEN FELT BAD .. NOT SURE WHAT TO DO NEXT ANY ADVICE PLEASE
Confused
Reply from
!!!
on Mar 13 2015 at 20:00
Member since: 07 February 2014
Ask her why she feels bad about breaking it off with him and unless her answer is great get the hell out of Dodge she is using you. You love her more than she loves you.
Confused
Reply from
BRENDY
on Mar 13 2015 at 20:10
Member since: 06 March 2015
she says it because of the kid .. she sending me message saying she cant sleep thinking of me .. Think i just not text her back and if she really wants me she come looking me .. do you think this is the right thing to do .. Like she has to think something of me we being chatting near every day for 3 years now .. think he keeps telling her they need to be together for the child sake ..she even be texting me when she go out on a night out an i say he has to be out with her if she liked him that much why would she want to contact me when there out together ?
Confused
Reply from
!!!
on Mar 13 2015 at 20:47
Member since: 07 February 2014
You love her, she does not love you. She needs someone to be the alternative to him. You wish and want something else to be true, so you doubt yourself and make excuses for her. You want her to look for you but will give in before she does. The child is her excuse. Run. If she wants you she can go after you. I don't think she will. For god sake don't take those texts.
Confused
Reply from
DAVEYB
on Mar 14 2015 at 06:41
Member since: 24 January 2015
You need to face facts, she is not a prisoner, if she really wanted to leave him to be with you she would have done it by now. I think she see's you as an escape route if it gets too bad, like an emergency exit but she won;t ever take it, you're like a safety net she keeps bu her just incase. She probably really believes what she is saying, but in all this time you teo haven;t got together.

I've been in similar circumstances, someone telling me they had to stop talking to me as they were looking forward to hearing from me more than their boyfriend who was never around. I stopped talking to her, then after a month I got texts, I refused to answer, then I started getting phone calls until I did. When they eventually broke up, did we get together? Nope, I was given a line similar to yours, then she started seeing someone else.

I still think about her, but I can see it was all a waste of time and effort, you should consider this yourself.

This thread has expired, but why not create your own?