There's a girl I really like, we've been talking for around 6 months.
We went on a third date 4 weeks ago, ended up having sex and blah blah. We had a really good time. I even kissed her goodbye at the end, and she said see you next time.
Anyway, we talked 24/7 after that via text message (over 20 thousand messages), but something would always come up when we made plans, was always on her behalf.
Now here's where it gets tricky. She talks to one of my best mates as well.
The other night, she was at her friends party, she got really drunk and was talking to my friend really kinky, like what she previously has done with me; but a lot more in detail. About what she wants to do to him for example. And how talking to him makes her happy.
I trusted my friend, hence why I didn't mind him talking to her. He told me what she had said the next day in confidence anyway.
Okay, at this point she doesn't know that my friend has told me this. 2 days later, my friend tells me something else, that she wasn't all that keen on me, and that she only wants to have fun. I would never have guessed, I didn't think she was like that.
The same day, he admits to me she has sent him nudes. Again this was all in confidence, she doesn't know that I know any of this.
I asked my friend if he was planning to do anything with her, he said not at the moment. I told him that if he did anything with her, we would lose our friendship.
My friend, has... different views on life. He doesn't believe in that rule of the bro code as such. He asked me (hypothetically) 'why would you deny someone happiness just because you tried and failed' and I really didn't know how to reply. We had a big argument over all of this, because we have different views on different things. I kept saying if he did anything with her, I would take it as a complete betrayal of trust, and our friendship would be no more. He said that was dumb and I need to re-evaluate my life.
At the end of the argument, I asked him one final time if he was going to do anything with her. He replied "Currently not at the moment". Which leaves the loophole that he may be planning on doing things with her in the future.
I want to message the girl, and confront her about all of this, however she does not know that my friend has told me all this information. My friend also told me if I did confront her and bring up the information he told me, he would take that as a betrayal of HIS trust, and that would also end our friendship.
Hence if I did confront her, I run the risk of losing my friend AND the girl.
I know I need to get over this girl, she isn't the one. But damn, it's hard. 6 Months of talking all the time and it results to this?
But back to my question, who's in the wrong here? Who's more to blame? What do i do? Please help me out
And I don't think a relationship is salvageable from this, unless the girl has some super amazing reason for all this.
If he does do anything with her, our friendship would be no more, and if i confront her WITH the information he's told me, I will also lose my mate.
I'm in a pickle, please help me out
Ye gads, why would you even TRY to keep these people around you?
He's a liar and user and he cares nothing about honor within a friendship.(But at least he told you he was up to no-good, in spite of how you feel about this. Self centered bloke, isn't he?)
She's a tease, a cheat, and a user who knows no boundaries. She talks to another man about your intimate relationship, and then tries to turn the guy on with sex talk? What a classy tart!, huh?
. . . and all this time you worry about THEM?!
Leave these two losers to each other. In the meantime, CHANGE FRIENDS and find a young LADY.
Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?