Recurring dreams of my ex boyfriend
I had just recently broken up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years because I felt bored in the relationship and we would fight all the time. We fought about stupid things that were always about him that I didn't agree with so yes I always started the fights. They weren't major but the more they happened the more I felt like we didn't have a lot in common and most definitely didn't want the same things in life.
He didn't even want to think about marriage until he was in his late 30's. We are both 20 and I know that is young but I feel like I want to be married before I'm 30 and that I'm not getting any younger. When I would tell him that we are so different he would say "we love each other and all that matters is that we have each other now". But I don't want to just live in the moment and waste my life away with someone who isn't like me. Now please don't get me wrong I love him and care for him and want him in my life but I don't think that I'm in love with him anymore and we just don't want the same things in life. So I brought up breaking up and he agreed so we did.
But now he wants to get back together and he said he only agreed to breaking up because he could tell I've been wanting to. My major problem is that I don't know if I should just get back together and try to fix it or if I should let him go. It's only been two weeks and almost every night I have a dream about him and they are mostly good like having sex, kissing and cuddling, but sometimes I'm yelling at him in my dreams. Everytime I wake up I feel horrible and that I must have made the wrong decision but I feel like I need to do this and move on.
One day I can see us getting back together but he needs to grow up first and take on more responsibility because we always have fights about money. I pay for most of the things like food and movies because I have a job and he doesn't. He never would buy me flowers or surprise me with a dinner date when least expected, all we did is hang out at each others place, talk, have sex and watch Netflix because we didn't have money to do anything else. The things he liked to do I didn't really care to do and vice versa. I realize that it Is good to try new things and that you and your partner aren't always going to have the same likes.
I thank you all for taking your time to read this and I look forward to your feedback!
i think you should give him another chance because the fact that you dream about him shows you still love him and explain to him he needs to change and see how it goes
You said it yourself: " he needs to grow up first"
Give him some time to show you that he at least has plans in his life (school, career, hobbies, intellectual growth, etc.)
Young men in their early 20's are not ready to settle down, but at least should show motivation and demonstrate a good morals, manners and respect for women.
Re your dreams: your subconscious is working out your emotions. While you may miss the sex, it is overpowered by the arguments and stress between you two.
Stand your ground. Date others, maybe even older men.