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Huge problem

- Apr 12 2010 at 02:09
Member since: Apr 2010
S-e-x advice Hello, I've been hopelessly confused about what to do on this- I'd be SO grateful for any feedback.

I've been trying a sort of "long distance relationshp" with this guy in France for three years (Henri). We get along wonderfully and have long conversations and great chemistry, but long ago agreed to be open (having other relationships) but promise to be together someday. That may seem a loose assumption, but it's looking like I'll finally go there in August and we'll get an appartment together. We only met once, last June, We had a great time, but then I came back to the US. Soon after there was all this drama about a girl he'd been seeing (she found out about me). Heartbroken and sure that was the end, I got together with a boy from high school who was very close.

That was a year ago, and I'm still with the boy from my school (David). He always knew about Henri, but I've spent lots of time convincing him the other was out of the picture. But then last October Henri called me and said he couldn't stop thinking about me; neither could I. We've been talking ever since (David knows this but not to the full extent) and Henri bought a ticket to visit me. He arrives in one week. David and I haven't been getting along at all lately- regardless of his fears of Henri- and I had planned on breaking up with him long before Henri would arrive. But each time we fight, we make up. Not only do we have great sex, but we're generally very sweet to each other when not fighting. I have grown to love him so much in the past almost-year.

The way things are with Henri, we will definitely have a great time, two weeks which David thinks will be solidly platonic.. I don't want to so blatantly cheat on David; I know I must break up with him or say "let's take a break" before Henri arrives, but if I do the later, is that plain evil?

If I decide on the temporary "break" with David, there is a further problem. Other than Henri last summer, David had been my only sexual partner. I am quite sure that I will have sex with Henri when he's here, and Henri has a larger penis than David. I'm wondering if David would be able to feel the difference if we have sex later? David would never forgive me if i had sex with Henri but the turned back to him afterwards...

Any suggestions for my various dilemmas?


Huge problem

- Apr 15 2010 at 10:06
Member since: Apr 2010
Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte. You have got to be honest no matter what you decide to do. David deserves honesty, Henri deserves honesty and you deserve honesty. If you can't sort out your feelings than tell David you need this time with Henri to decide. If David can't handle this, than you need to decide if you want to risk losing him to spend the time with Henri. At some point you WILL have to make a decision. So, do you want to hurt David, Henri or Charlotte through honesty or deception? Anyway you choose, there will be pain--you just have to decide how you want to distribute the pain--honestly or deceptively. In love triangles there's no way around the hurt. You can prolong the status quo for a bit, but ultimately, decisions need to be made. In my humble opinion, honesty is the best way. I wish you luck.

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