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Feeling trapped

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Relationship advice Hi,

I was just seeking some advice regarding my relationship, Hoping you can help.

I have been with my partner (living together) for just under 3 years now and for the most part the relationship is enjoyable and we love & respect each other. The problem or at least the main problem in my eyes is concerning a health issue with my partner. She suffers from Fibroids and this has had a devastating effect on our relationship. Our sex life is pretty much non existent and further to that we are now encountering problems with conceiving a child as well as we both are ready to have a child together.

At the start of our relationship I had no idea what Firbroids we're and I thought it was a temporary thing that could be resolved with some treatment. We have tried every single avenue possible to have them treated and we are getting nowhere. Recently when I've thought back to the start of our relationship I feel misled by her as she wasn't fully honest with me about how severe an issue this was / is.

We tried public and private healthcare and doctors simply refuse to operate on them as it could hinder her chances at conceiving greatly, we've tried herbal remedies and feel let down by a local doctor who originally said of course she could help, 3-4 months later and the herbal remedies haven't made any difference. She now wants to try reflexology & have blood samples taken to treat hormonal in-balances, personally I've lost all hope at this point.

I've told her as much in recent days that there doesn't seem to be much point in trying to resolve this now as it simply seems to be a case of having a hysterectomy and no children or putting up with a non existent sex life, heartbreak and frustration for the next decade or so and living in hope something might work and we might have some kind of miracle breakthrough regarding pregnancy.

So, I think you can understand my frustration (in every sense, emotionally, mentally, sexually etc), I feel let down and trapped. I am not sure where to turn to now, do I end the relationship? I said from day 1 to her having children is something I want in my life. This doesn't seem to be an option or at least likely with her? Do I persist in the hope of something happening?

TIA

Z

Feeling trapped

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First - be sure you have access to the latest in medical care. Is there a teaching hospital specializing in women's health near you? Find a Dr. who practices there. Hysterectomy is no longer the first option to treating fibroids.

Second - there are SO many options for you and your partner to be parents. Are you closing the door on surrogate, adoption, fostering, etc.?

Are you sure your restlessness is from these issues? You seem so resigned to an inevitable breakup.

Feeling trapped

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We've exhausted all avenues Susie, we've tried doctors in public & private healthcare, they've stated they won't operate as its too risky and could cause long term damage to her uterus and risk her chances of having children.

We've discussed adoption, I would do it...but I would like to experience having a child of our own too of course, she would too. Surrogate I am not sure as I mentioned it previously and said she didn't want to do that, doesn't want to involve another woman.

At this point I do feel resigned to an inevitable breakup. As I mention above the sex life is non existent to start with, we can go weeks or months on end on occasion not having sex, when we can its for a brief period of time and it feels rushed to have sex because we both know bleeding could start again any day. Then as mentioned we have the problems regarding pregnancy, we've been trying for a little while now with no joy of course and its bit difficult to conceive when you can't have a healthy sexual relationship either.

I am open minded and stated I will try surrogacy or adoption but would like to of course try for our own child, to help with sexual tension for us both I'd even be open to having a more open relationship, involving a 3rd party to ease frustrations, that goes for both me and her... That would probably be met with a negative response no doubt, as I've hinted at such before and usually gets the same negative reply.

I do feel well and truly worn out, exhausted if I'm honest! I've been as patient as can be, giving 3 years of my life to the relationship in the hope the Fibroid can be medically dealt with, be it by western or eastern medicine I don't mind, whatever works.

Feeling trapped

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Hi!! first of all for the disease go for anothe city, search on internet about the treatment and hospitals. But, still things doesn't work out than you both need to come to a conclusion, think practically. If you wamt to be together you can adopt a child.
This video may make you to understand relationship. http://goo.gl/FjUQLU

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