I don't know who to love.. or I don't have anyone to love
so here's the thing i have a happy family i have many friends yet why is it that i don't think i love them some part of my life i would always say "i love you" to my friends but after a year i somehow got bored of those words and didn't care and same goes to my family it seems like i wouldn't care if they die
its like sure i'll get sad but there ain't nothing i can do once they died so why bother
am i just mean or lost???
i very confused so muchh
Well, it sounds like you holding yourself back, emotionally, is your insurance policy against feeling bereft and heartbroken if ever they did die, whether for real or via rejection/abandonment, wouldn't you say? If your heart is attached to only 40% then it stands to reason the detachment process would hurt only 40% as well, right?
Must be. Because you said you'd get, quote, SAD, when in reality, your parents, siblings or friend dying calls for the word, 'devastated', not just 'sad'.
Who broke your heart, then, or who did see getting their heart broken as has you not wanting to go there?
Why do you feel you should feel something deeper? I am confused. If you are cold you are cold but it seems there is something more going on.
Looks to me that someone very close to you hurt u, a lot! or left u...
Saying and meaning 'i love u' are totally different things.
I am sure you still love your family and friends, u need to figure out a way to connect with them. U have just spaced yourself out. Most of the times you dont have to just say 'i love u' your actions and deeds will say them.
It would definitely affect you if your close one dies, but think about this - once they are gone, u will never be able to tell them 'i love u'... or even spend time with them. Thats when u will realise that u actually loved them. Why do u want to wait for this to happen? U dont have to do anything when they are dead, do it now. Spend time with your loved ones, share love and joy, you will get love and joy back. Then all these thoughts wont even cross your mind.
This world is a diifcult to place to survice and everyone needs love to get thru it.
Ahh, nice post. :-) Very true, as well.