Need some advice about my relationship with my ex pls help
So me an my gf were together for like more than 3 years now and like every relationship we had our ups and downs.Everything was fine until i joined my new institute for Post graduation studies and she was doing online MBA i got extremely busy as my course was full time i use to wake up at 6 in the morning and then be back from my classes by 5 in the evening and then i use to get tired and sleep we were not talking much at all as i dint hv much time but i was still trying my best to text here whenever i find time but she was all alone and had not much things to do as in online mba u only have to go to college to write exam on a specific day.
Before me getting busy we use to talk like a lot exchange texts and everything and all of sudden me getting busy was kinda hard on her and she said i cant take this and she needed some space to get use to this.At first i codunt understand what was in her mind and i still kept on texting her Good morning and goodnight for a week when one day she got pissed and said pls leave me alone i too also got little pissed becoz i was the only one initiating texting and she was busy getting mad at me so i stopped texting her.
Then we dint talk for like a month then one day she texted i cant do this and she broke up with me i dint reach anything becoz i was already in the pressure of my this new studies and was really very angry on her for not understanding my situation this went on another month where we were not talking and then i got my results for my bachelor degree and i was happy that i passed and i wanted to tell her so i texted her and she was also happy for me and we kinda started talking again.
I was again feeling like everything is going to be fine now when then she said that she likes someone and they are dating each other for like a month and they have even smooched.I was devastated after hearing his as i wasent expecting any of this.I cried and said lots of stuffs to her gave her all the gifts she ever gave me and i dint wanted to see her face anymore.
I tired not texting her not talking to her but then i codunt stop myself from texting her i begged to come back and tried to explain her that she is in a rebound relationship but she never believed and said she loves him and has no feeling for me and then after a while like 1-2 weeks we started talking and decided to be friends and then i wanted to get drunk yesterday as i dont have must friends i asked my ex to join me and she agreed we got drunk and i was still on my senses but she wasent and she started talking and shared all her feelings that she said that she still cares about me thinks about me and worries about me and she is also now confused between me and that new guy and then we indulged in Oral sex and while doing that she confessed that she had sex with the new guy as well but then we still continued and we slept and once we woke up we were both in our complete scenes and then we again had oral sex and then she left.
Honestly i am devastated that how could she have sex with someone she met just 1 months ago this thought is killing me i dont understand if she loves me or not or if the guy she is with now does she really love him becoz the guy is not ready for commitment becoz he is not sure if his parents will agree with their relationship.But then he is open to sex without giving commitment and i dont know how could my ex even get physical with him.
I really dont know what to do at this point should i leave her which is very difficult for me and i also feel that guys is misusing her and just talking advantage for her and my ex feel whatever is happening between them is love.
Pls share some light on wht should i do i dont know weather i want her or weather i love her i cant concentrate on my studies i keep thinking about my ex and this new guy and after last night of her confessing she had sex is bugging me even more.
Sorry, but I don't buy your excuse that you could not pay attention to her because of your studies. You could find NO time for her? You had to eat, didn't you? Could you have not made arrangements to get together then?
You ignored her on and off for over 2 months! Young girls need LOTS of attention. So she moved on. And now you have a hard time accepting that she is not yours exclusively.
Her mistake was telling you all the "details" of her time away from you. She should have just told you that she has "moved on." Instead she put it into your face that she needed attention and got it from someone else, sexually. (Take that!!)
If you want this woman as potential marriage material, then you better step up and take control. Court her and woo her back, completely and with conviction. Learn how to take care of things that mean a lot to you.
(As you might guess, I am a woman. I put this issue in your lap because I think you were responsible for seeking attention from other guys.Instead, you take the "poor me" route and make yourself a "victim" about what happened.)
First of all, if u guys really loved each other she would have understood u spacing out. U might have spaced out because u must have gotten too much of her and you took her for granted. She gave u time but still you could not give her attention hence she must hv been highly emotional and met this other guy who supported her.
The other guy may or may not be ready for commitment but you need to understand if the girl is ready? Coz if she is not then it is clear she is looking for a casual relationship and that you should just let her be and choose what she wants.
If she has moved on and drifted apart, I dont think you can win her back. It takes a lot to do that, and even if she gives u a chance u may again get pre-occupied with your studies, then what?
It is mutual understanding which I dont see in your relationship. I suggest you too move on.
I agree its difficult for you, it is actually more difficult because she is with someone else. And u are frustrated bec u cannot see her with someone else. If she were single u would not have felt so much for her.
I dont think you love her. I think ur ego just wants her back. And noone can misuse anyone. The girl also wants what she is getting and seems to be happy that way and it is her choice in the matter.
Its best for you to stop thinking about her and move on. Your studies meant so much to you and thats why u ignored her the first time around, it is totally senseless to ignore your studies. Please concentrate on your education, keep yourself busy, this might help u move on.
For all you know the space might do her good and she may be able to think clearly and might want to be friends with you again.
Hope my suggestion help.
Hi, from what i have understood from your story is that both of you never wanted to comprise for each other. i don't know the girl's side of the story so i will talk to you instead. It is true you got busy with school and all but you should have created time even once or twice a week just to be with her. That said, what both of you are currently undergoing is dangerous. You don't need to decide for her whether she loves the other guy or not. Deal with your emotions and feelings first. Avoid communication and meeting up with her so you can think clearly, engage in social activities with family and friends to keep your mind off her and reanalyze what exactly you feel. Ask yourself questions like, will you be okay being with her after all she has revealed to you? Do u trust her? Are you willing to wait as she continues with her life with the other man? All the best.