He is embarrased to be seen with me!
So I have known my husband for 5 years, we were married just over 2 years ago. For most of my adult life I have been rather overweight thus I have been the same overweight person since the day we met.
Over the past couple of months we have been having some problems and 2 days ago he comes out with:
'I am embarrased to bee seen out in public with you because you are fat' so I say to him well why did you marry then and he replies with 'I dont know'
Now apart from being totally blown away with these confessions from him - he still wants to have sex with me. I am completely lost as to how I am supposed to feel about this and where to go from here cause I love him, I really really love him.
For him to suddenly come out with this, can I ask something.. and this is not intended to sound rude. Since you got married, have you put any more weight on?
The reason I ask is that he may be worrying that you will continue to do so and an underlying fear for your health may be coming through in a childish manner if he can't express it properly.
If not, then maybe he is unhappy about something and decided to take it out on you.
These are purely guesses at best as I do not know the full circumstances involved here, not all insults entirely stem from the same root. That is to say it might be easy for him to hurt you with the overweight comment, when in actual fact there is some other reason for his behaviour that he either can;t, won;t or doesn;t know how to express.
Looks like he is having his own issues which he hasn't been able to sort out yet. Like for example some comment by someone on both of you being seen together. On one side he is battling to ignore it and on the other side it is fighting to overpower your marriage. In between that when you pulled him up he blurted it out.
If you really love him and don't want to lose him, you will have to try and lose some weight. The fact that he still wants sex with you means he is attracted to you but fears society for its rude comments. He doesn't feel strong enough to stand up for you against a rude society.
I am not sure losing the weight is the real problem. I am for him being unhappy and taking it out on you. I guess I would ask him if that is the real problem and would it be solved if you were thinner. You can try it, but my suspicion is that it would not help more than for the moment. Talk to him. Things might be clearer.
I hope that you have discussed how he has hurt your feelings. He might have said that regretfully and would prefer to forget it if you will let him. Has he ever mentioned your weight before? If this is his first rude outburst I'd be looking to his friends or family. So many times we're told what we should or shouldn't like and it can be hard to deal with if someone has put him under pressure this way. His I don't know comment struck me as I can't think of a good response more than I don't know why I married you. That being said I wasn't there and don't know what tone he used. If your weight has always been an issue in this relationship maybe you should reconsider whether or not this relationship is good for you. Best of luck.