Is it worth holding onto?
Hi, I have known this guy for five years as friends though he always asked me to date him but i refused due to the fact that we had never met and we lived in different towns. A month ago i moved to the same town as him and we started up as friends and after two weeks we decided to date. Everything was fun at the beginning we had alot to talk about and we agreed on the major things. He would meet me up from work in the evenings then we would walk around town abit or go for juice before we both go home, we live in different estates. About two weeks after we started dating he just started acting differently, no usual chats, no meeting upin the evenings or weekends and the few times we talk it isn't anything serious just greetings and him telling me that he misses me. I have tried mentioning it to him that the fact that we spend less time together bothers me but all he says is that he will work on it. I have been feeling that probably after wanting to date me for so long and now that we are, he is not into it anymore. Am I overthinking or what is your view on him changing too soon?
From my experience when people do this, they have a prior expectation of how the relationship will be. Quite often people are wrong with these things as they don't know all the little bits of the other person's life. This then makes them feel annoyed with themselves and then they decide that it isn't what they expected so they don't want it anymore. If you ask him to explain himself he wont know why its happening but will "try" to fix it but it wont happen because he wont realize til its too late. Ask him either for a time out or to go on a break or something and see if being friends again helps and try to work out if he starts seeing anyone else while you're on a break. If he sees someone else I say leave him to his life, he's not worth it.
This "relationship" is really less than a month old. He's cooled down instead of ramping it up with you. Sounds like he's just not that interested OR he is distracted by something else (job, another woman, etc.)
OR - he needs more time to make room for a love interest, OR maybe he just wants to be friends.
You deserve an explanation, just to settle your own mind.
Try asking: "Oh John, I thought we had something going, at least that sounded like it all these years. Now you seem very disinterested. Did I misread you? What's going on?"