PeoplesProblems Logo

I like an ex-employee, not sure of next steps

Default profile image
I helped hire an employee just under 2 years ago. She is 29 and I am 39. From the beginning I knew I was very attracted to her personality and demeanor(she was my type). We interacted a lot. We got on well, we had a bit of a teasing relationship, and spent significant time in the car together on calls. She sometimes would say we should do this or that in a real friendly way, but I always kept my distance due to the small office and that I was one of her bosses. We shared a lot of the same views, and I know she enjoyed talking to me on a range of subjects, and we shared the same political/social views. I know she has a boyfriend that she actually lives with, but know from our conversations that she probably doesn't does share his life view, nor is her view particularly respected, and that he is not interested in more than macho male past times. In the past several weeks I know she has debated moving out - I heard through the grapevine. Just this past summer we had a company retreat and we were a bit flirty - at dinner she touched my thigh, she made sure we held hands on the beach at night after we had a splash fight, and apparently there were bets that we'd hook-up. In any event, she recently had to leave our small company as she needed to get a job closer to home. On the last day as she was leaving in the parking lot as I was saying good bye, I said that now she wasn't an employee that it would be great to see here socially for a museum or just coffee to talk and she was very happy to hear that, but then I said "you see, I find you very intelligent and very interesting"(words that I had used to describe a day earlier as to the type of person I'm looking for), and she mid sentence, "Stop talking, you're going to make me cry", and we just stood there for a minute locked in gaze without saying anything as I didn't want to to cry. I stared at her and said "well . . ." and turned and then she got into her car and I walked back to the office. Interpreted that she got my drift . . . I assume that is why she said stop(though I might be misreading). Not sure what to do now. I've met 4 women in my life that had the right combination of qualities but for timing or work reasons I never acted, but I am certain she could be the one. Not sure how to proceed - call her up, ask her for coffee - I don't want to her to slip away. At the same time I know there is an age gap, and I feel quite silly about this long crush, maybe that is all it is, but it doesn't feel like it.

I like an ex-employee, not sure of next steps

Default profile image
hi rad I would say go after her call her up and ask her to dinner. you are both old enough that the age difference shouldn't matter. you don't want her to slip away!

I like an ex-employee, not sure of next steps

Default profile image
Ask her if she might want to hang out sometime. once you guys meet up, find out all about her current situation with her bf first. Maybe she is having issues with her guy and really needs to move out - but trust me, lots of people out there are just so stuck in their past relationships that they just don't do anything about it altogether. she does sound like she might like you. but she is still with her bf, and you do not want to be a rebound at any cost. be there for her, and don't let her slip away. but stay on your guard and let her be completely over her ex bf first before you take it to the next level. flirting with you while she has a bf.. thats a bit messed up. i am not saying that she is a bad person, being in a sucky relationship does that to a LOT of people. but u dont want to be caught up in a bad situation, so clear that up. all the best! I hope you get together with her very soon :-)

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-2