I really need help here - it's been 6 months
Basically, I have issues with anxiety and ive never been in a relationship- I am 17 and female. When I think I like somebody I have to be sure and get a bit scared when I come close to anybody because it's quite new. But anyway me and my guy friend got with eachother at a party and went to 2nd base... My friends then had an argument with him about something after this a few days later and he went off into the group at school with the bitchy girls. It has been 6 months and I've still thought about him everyday. Just when I think it's getting less painful, he comes back into my group, and sees me at a party (this was about a week ago). Bearing in mind we hadn't spoken in half a year this was going to be pretty awkward. Anyway, whilst everyone was outside he sat close to me and asked if we were ok. I said yeas but it was just a bit awkward and told him I didnt do anything wrong when we had this argument. He apologised and told me that he knew and he was wrong and accepted how much of a twat he'd been. But, then people started coming inside so we went upto the bedroom because it was the only quiet place. We had a long dmc, in which I found out he lost his virginity in those few months and that he'd regretted it loads.. But he made me hold his hand during this whole time in the room, and he let out lots of personal issues. I told him he was perfect the way he was and didn't need to change for anybody.. Then this is what confuses me... He said things like I was good at making him horny and that I was the best hed ever had and stuff... He said i was beautiful and looked into my eyes and told me that I was better than all the other girls at our school and that my personality was amazing. I thought this was so cute and then we hugged for ages and he was holding my bum most of this time which was odd... This was when he was telling me that he liked another girl, and he didn't know what to do because she didn't like him back, and he said he didn't want to make a mess of things with me again because his head was a mess.. Im just a bit confused as then in the morning he asked me if we kissed. Which don't get me wrong I wouldn't have minded but it's all just a bit confusing, as why would he do that if he didn't like me in that way? I really need help guys ive been a state for 6 months and have trouble with guys, which is why I haven't been in a relationship before.. But it's a big deal for me.
Thanks for any comments
It sounds like you haven't had a lot of experience with guys. That's OK, you might find yourself in situations where you don't know how to spot a "user" versus a "gentleman."
Perhaps you need to have some male friends and get to know about guys this age. They are EXTREMELY horny and will seek out inexperienced girls like you. This is what I think this dude did with you, after ignoring you for 6 months.
He had his hand on your butt while talking to you about another girl? Yikes, he's a pig! No wonder you are confused.
Make it clear that if he wants a relationship, you and this dude need to start AT THE BEGINNING - start seeing each other in person. And ONLY if he's free to do that (no girlfriend on the side) That means dating, i.e. shows, dinner, walks, movies, etc. You need to get to know him because so far it's been a lot of suggestive talk and "going to 2nd base."
I doubt if he can do all this, like a gentleman would. Be very careful of this guy. From how you have described him, he's a user and after only one thing.
How old is he?
He's also 17, but doesn't strike anybody as a user, he's really nice usually, but it's all just a bit weird and confusing and im just left here in the dark
Still getting used to this site, my comment is from "reply"
No, you are not in the dark. But if you feel you are, then he needs to tell you what's going on. Has he contacted you lately? If not, it was really unfair for him to "connect" with you like that - then leave you dangling there with no follow up.
Can you call him and find out what's going on, like, are you two going to actually go out?
We've spoken as friends a few times since last weekend, but nothing more. Although as were in the same sixth form, I see him literally every day and sorry to sound cheesy, but sometimes we do have like that cute eye contact for longer than usual.. But maybe that's just me over analysing the situation. This other girl doesn't want anything to do with him in that way, I think he's just majorly confused atm, might have to try and stop myself from making any wrong decisions until he's sorted his life out. It's just harder than I thought:(