She just needs some time
Hi people, need some female advice on this one...
I met a girl in December 2014, we saw each other twice in a foreign city I was visiting and where she currently lives. When my vocation was done, we continued to message everyday on Facebook. Things were clicking and the chat we had was amazing. We shared so many things in common and seemed to have the same outlook in life.
We agreed that we needed to see each other again so decided to book a romantic weekend away in a different country. We stayed with each other for 4 days and it was effortless between us. Over the weekend we had a lot of sex and shared some great times. When we went back to our own countries we kept in touch and continued messaging.
Since then We have seen each other 3 more times, spending 5 and 6 days with each other. Things were great and we expressed to each other we missed one another.
Because of the nature of my job, I can live anywhere in Europe. I suggested the possibility of moving to her city to see what could happen between us...This was apparently music to her ears but then she started to get a little freaked out. We talked about in and agreed to take things slow and see what would happen. I saw her again for another 5 days and things were great. After I left, she told me she missed me etc and how it frustrated her that we couldn't see each other more. I understood but stated every time i try to offer the solution and move to her country, It just freaks her out.
I really like this girl and wanted to know where I stand with her. I can keep flying to her country, staying in hotels etc as it just cost too much money.
I think I came on a little song and it's pushed her away. We haven't spoke now in over 1 week. Our last messages she explained that she wanted to take things slow and I was pushing her which in turn made her take a step back. I expressed how sorry I was and apologised for this...but I said I will not say sorry for liking you. I was suppose to visit her over 1 week ago but she said it's not a good idea to see each other again soon because of how this situation was with us
In the end I asked her to just let me back in to her world and promised not to f*ck things up again.....She said "I just need some time". My reply read, "Then this time I will respect that. You know where I am if you want me but until then, I will give you some space"
I feel so confused right now and I miss talking to her everyday. I know I have to stay true to my word and give her time but it's hurting really bad.
Can anyone give me some advice on this situation?
Why the "freaking out" when you talk about moving near her/
Maybe she thinks she would have to move in with you if you moved to her city.
You need to talk more about this. Explain exactly what you mean by "moving to her city to see what could happen between us."
Apparently it means different things to you than it does her.
She knew where we stood with this. I said I would never expect to live with her etc, just see her 2/3 times per week and take things slow.
The last time we chatted she said she didn't mind me messaging, and after the week silence she said she was surprised that I messaged her, and that I had to keep in mind what she said about it not being a good idea to see each other. After all that she then proceeds to say, I just need some time....Can't help but feel it's a waste of time now and I'm being strung along.
I'm going to give her space for 1 month, I will not message her etc. If I haven't heard from her in this time I'll know the relationship is dead.
I'm a dude, so I cannot give you any female advice or than again not even be able to give you any answers, but I read this and realized how much it sounds like my relationship now (at least thematically) and if you wanted to talk, I'm not a creep or anything, so I'd totally want to. Sometimes conversation is the best tool.
Is it possible that she has a BF or other commitment that she has been hiding YOU all this time?
She really owes you an explanation - she's hot and then really cold.
Her reaction tells me she has something to hide OR she sees you as something on the side, never meant to be anything but a long distance relationship.
Another possibility is that YOU have misread the entire relationship.
What do you think?
How much do you really know about this girl?
I guess I don't really know her all that much after this. But Since December we spoke every single day exchanging at least 30 messages etc, so I feel like I got to know her with that and what she was doing day-to-day on snapchat etc.
She may have other guys on the go....I'm just not sure. It's annoying because we were going just fine but I started to put some pressure on her asking what was actually happening between us. It was great when I was with her, then when I left we missed each other and I guess that got the better of me.
I just feel really lost right now. I want to feel like "if this is the way she backs off and gives up on me so easily then why should I give a hell" But it's hard to feel that way