I have a huge crush on my married boss
I have a ridiculous crush on my boss...and he's married. He's also 45...I'm 19. He looks like he's in his 20s. I know it's crazy, and I know I'll be judged. But I have no one to vent to, and I need advice. I started working at a shoe store 8 months ago..and about 5 months ago I've develpoed strong feelings for my manager. Two days ago he just became the store manager so he's making me an assistant manager soon. Anyway, I can't help but feel that the feeling is mutual. There is so much chemistry...usually I can't tell if someone likes me, and sometimes I think maybe its all innocent, but there are so many things that he does that make my mind go crazy. I can't stop thinking about him. At first I thought it was just a stupid crush, one of those "it'll go away in a week or so" but it's been 5 months and I see him almost every single day. I think about him all day and all night and I even fatasize about him. I'm really ashamed...because I know he's married. I've even met his wife before because she's walked into the store a few times. It's weird because she has the same exact style as me. Kinda like the "hippie" style. One time he told me he had a dream about me, walking into the store with my hair really short. I have dreams about him too but obviously I didn't say anything. The point is, I don't know what to do.. I try to maintain a serious attitude at work to not make it obvious but it's so hard since he's always joking around with me and teasing me and making me laugh. Here are the things that he's done that have led me to think that this could be a mutual feeling. Okay so he's always commenting on my hair, and whenever I do something different to it, he says he thinks I look very "pretty" one time I brought my glasses to work (I only wear them while driving) and he asked me to wear them and I tried them on for him and I told him I didn't really like the way I looked in them and he said exactly these words "you absolutely do not look bad in them" and he smiled while saying it. I always wear pants and I wore a long skirt one day and when I walked in he complemented on how nice I looked in a skirt. Also he's always suggesting on a shoe he thinks would look great on me. We have the same taste in music so he writes a list of songs on a sheet of paper and gives it to me. Then I did the same and he listened to all of them...sometimes I'll say "it's so cold in here my hands are freezing" and he ALWAYS says "let me feel" and he'll grab my hands for a while and he'll look at me in the eyes while holding my hand. He always stands really close to me, he's extremely nice to me and some of my coworkers have told me that they think he favors me and two of them even said that they think he might have a thing for me. Also whenever there's a song on, like a funny goofy song, he'll say "this is your song" but sometimes there's a really romantic cheesy song and he'll say "this is our song" and I know he says it just to joke around but still...and one night we closed together and it was just the two of us and he walked me to my car. The thing is that he used to mention his wife around me a few times when we first met, now he NEVER does. And one time we were taking out the trash and he was trying to put some wet cardboard on me and we were laughing and then his wife came and surprised him and it got so awkward and I walked back to the store alone. I feel so bad, I feel terrible...I don't want to do anything that will hurt his wife, but I feel like this feeling isn't going to go away. Like I said, I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME. He's intelligent, hilarious, extremely attractive, stunning personality, generous. I can keep going. He also told me once that he thinks I'm very mature for my age and that he thinks I'm very intelligent. He's always showing me funny videos on his phone and one time he went through my phone and literally saw all of my pictures. He saw pictures of my paintings and drawings on my phone and kept saying how talented I was. He also seems to get serious whenever I mention a guy I'm talking to. So I stopped doing that. I could keep on going on and on but i think this is plenty. Again, I know this is morally wrong, I just had to let it out.
He's 45 and messing with a 19 year old? Sorry, but that's creepy.
This is going nowhere but in a bad way.
Change jobs ASAP.
I'm pretty much in the same situation, except that I'm 25 and that my 45 year old boss is married but also have 4 children (the last one is barely 6 months old) :/
I feel so bad about the feelings I'm developing towards him but I just can't help it. I'm his assistant too and he always gets pretty close to me. He stands behind almost touching my body with his. And he kind of always makes jokes trying to get me all worked up and shy. The other day I asked home something about a hardware named "G" and he was like "do you want me to touch your G spot?" While bending over me to go on my laptop. It's kinda weird cuz I'm a writer so I tend to imagine things but I just don't know where to stand. I'm so confused with my feelings and the way he acts towards me.
Agree with Susie.
"Again, I know this is morally wrong, I just had to let it out."
Good. So that's that dealt with for the mo and you can put it to one side...
"so he's making me an assistant manager soon."
How do you know he is and how does that prospect make you feel?
(CRAZYORINLOVE, you perhaps need to start a thread of your own - unless you've got things under control?)
agree wid sussie
Many managers will tell their employees they look nice or pretty if they dress up as it helps sales. He shouldn't be going through your phone because that could get him in trouble with company policy if he were to see something bad. The song thing is kinda iffy until you said he was also saying it about the lovey ones. The cardboard incident was huge flirting.
It really wasn't horrible and nothing you couldn't stop until you said he'd hold your hands to warm them up. Once he crossed that touch barrier I'd have been reporting him. That is extremely unproffessional.
You need to find a new job and realize he isn't going to leave gl his wife and kids.
I don't think it's good in a professional way, but I can understand why you have feelings for him. I just want to warn you not to try and pursue him. I tried to pursue a relationship with a guy I worked with and ended up getting hurt. Badly. Now I'll have to see him every day that we're both there. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Only a fool would believe that you guys could ever be anything more.