As of this moment of this post they are having an argument and it hurts me so much since its like every other day for hours. Mostly ignited by my mother who points fingers at my father for not making any money and wants him to take responsibility for every "lie" he told her. Like "We might or will get a house by the end of March." and " If this project is complete we make success." Yet my mother is working her butt off working almost every day for eight to twelve hours as a nurse ( hospice ) and of course is tired because of her back pains and massive pain from Surgical Sterilization.
But what I dislike is to hear her "attack" someone over the littlest problems seeming she is never satisfied and for a while claiming title of the victim. Truly I love her alongside my father who had made few big mistakes. I just feel I can't do anything when it is so obvious the failure in communication and cooperation. I only want to know how I should deal with this since I frequently get dragged to be on my mother's side to talk bad about my father. I already try to play the "good" role which involves the compromising tone and action. Alongside with easing my mother with massaging and caring for her vanity and do my best as a nice person. Its just feels so hard to cope with and I just want was any other person wants a happy family. Is it selfish? Perhaps I am simply not mature enough or just in a situation I cannot solve because of my age. So the main question is "What should I do as a teenager to ease such heated arguments, but not by ignoring it instead to solve it and reach the desire of happiness?" Yes I may be very vague, but all I am willing to say is that my mother decided she rather live inside a car on the streets than paying the expensive rent. If that does happen I am afraid child services may take my sister and me away. Onto the past if you let me ramble with my old thoughts of suicide thinking it may be cheaper for my parents than me living. Or in order to pay the many debts to sell my physical form.
(To clarify my sister is an intelligent and obedient little girl simply precious I am so proud often bragging about her to random friends.) I am so confusing aren't I. Forgive me on this I usually bottle it alongside other stuff.
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