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Long distance dilemma and new uni

Posted by
KEEVANIAMH
on Apr 9 2015 at 23:58
Member since: 09 April 2015
Long Distance Relationship advice As a background quickly, I've been dating a guy who lives overseas for about a year now. I love him with my entire soul and I have never felt this way about anyone the way I feel about him.

I started at a new university a little while back and I've met some incredible people. One being a guy that is very interested in me. My long distance guy and I decided that being in an open relationship would make uni life a bit easier for me. So this new guy and I kissed one night, and we have been talking since then. I have spent a lot of time with him and now I'm confused.

The confusion comes, not so much with the new guy, but just the general idea of dating. There is a part of me that feels like I'm missing out on something being in a relationship with a guy that isn't even on the same continent as me. And neither of us are going to be changing out locations for at least the next five years.

I really just need some logical advice. Do I break up with him or do I keep it going and carry on dating this new guy? Or do I close the relationship and stick to the long distance guy? I'm so so confused. Just need a panned out version f this situation to help me think clearer

Long distance dilemma and new uni

Reply from
SILVIAGIRL
on Apr 10 2015 at 00:03
Member since: 09 April 2015
Thoughts:

1. You are missing out by being in a relationship with someone that far away. You're missing out on being near someone you love. That's a big deal. Don't blame yourself for feeling tha tway.

2. 5 years is a LONG time for a long distance relationship. I'm not saying that it can't work, but...this isn't a short term thing while you figure things out. It's half a decade.

3. Is everyone aware of what's going on/in agreement with it? (i.e. does new guy know that you have a long distance boyfriend + is okay with being with you despite that?) If so, I see no reason not to try out the new guy while maintaining things with the current boyfriend. (But that's only okay if everyone's aware of what's happening and is okay with that, too.)

4. How much do you like new guy?

My basic bias is that a 5 year long distance relationship is going to fail, because LDRs are hard enough even when they're fairly short. (So in that case, you might as well enjoy new guy.) But not everyone falls into the rule. If you don't like the new guy enough to risk the relationship, that's fine, too. It's also fine to experiment (you're in an OPEN relationship!) if that makes you happiest.

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