PeoplesProblems Logo

Unsure how to proceed after the relationship

Default profile image
Long Distance Relationship advice So my girlfriend and I broke up recently. We met a few months ago through mutual friends and didn't really think we'd be anything more than friends. However, as we talked, we felt we really clicked and even though we didn't live in the same area (we were about 2-3 hours away from each other) we visited each other a few times and started going out eventually. From the very beginning we were a long distance relationship and I thought that if we really like each other and think it's worth it to be with each other then it'll be enough to overcome the distance. We saw each other every few weeks, spent a lot of magical days together.
Suddenly, out of the blue, we broke up. We haven't had a chance to talk a lot in the days leading up to the breakup. We were both really busy with our own things and unable to afford each other any time. Eventually, she called and said we should break up. It didn't feel like I was in her life, It didn't feel like I was there for her and to be fair, there were times where we both sort of "forgot" we were in a relationship. It just feels like we're a separate entity in each other's lives even though we played such a large part in each other's lives.
We talked about all of this, and how even though we truly care for each other, she said I deserved someone who could be there for me, in person.
The feelings that I'm experiencing right now, I think, are less about the fact that we broke up, but that we broke up so unexpectedly when we planned to do so much. The last time we saw each other, neither of us expected this to happen, we had so many things to look forward to and now all that is just gone. My friend said that since we ended not because one of us fell out of love or a fault, we should see each other and have one final date as a way to celebrate our relationship. She said that it was hard enough to break up once, to break up twice would be...unbearable. That was when we just decided to end things and we were all emotional. Ideally, if we could spend a last day together and be a couple one last time without the overbearing feeling of sadness that would be great, and then those things can come out when we say goodbye at the end. At best, this will happen in a few weeks, I'm just afraid that all we've done to move past this will come back we'll be back at square one. I don't know if this idea is healthy, if it's a good idea at all. I think we owe it to each other to at least see each other one last time as a couple. This really feels like we'll forever be "unfinished."

Unsure how to proceed after the relationship

Default profile image
I think if you had one last date....knowing it was ending anyway...is not going to be a particularly fun one....Moreso you might end up rekindling the relationship...which is the underlying subconscious reason why I think you're contemplating this? I think you owe it to eachother to give another go. How far away are you? This is only a hurdle. A bit of busy-ness isn't a bad thing. Talk to each other and make it happen. 21st century, Skype, message...and make the most of it when you are together

Unsure how to proceed after the relationship

Default profile image
That's what we've been doing. I admit we don't talk on Skype or calls as much as we could and we really should more. We tried to make the most of it when we're together but sometimes it just doesn't feel like I'm in a real relationship, only the idea of one sometimes. I found myself sometimes thinking if I really want this or if I'm ready. I think that if we had history together, it could work, but we just don't have the necessary foundation to really take a run at it. We're going to make a real effort to stay friends and communicate and who knows what the future holds. From where I stand now, I think it might be best to break up and stay friends. Our long distance situation is going to last for a few years minimum. If after a few months we start to feel like this despite our feelings, then perhaps it's better to not drag it out when chances are there's going to be an inevitable breakup down the road.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-0