I'm really hoping you can help me.. I need advice on something , I've had a lot of advice given to me but still don't Know what to do . I'm in a relationship & have been for 6 months , At first the relationship was great but it started to go downhill.. I've found myself comparing him to my first love.. My first love & I talk all the time & we were on & off for a good 2 years.. I want him back , I wanna give it one more chance but I don't know if I wanna give up on who I'm with right now.. can you please help me???
Statistically if a relationships ends and you start it again it will most likely end again. I think as long as you stay in contact with your ex you will always want them over whoever you are dating and not because they are superior but because you are more likely to only remember the good times with them. But things didn't work out for a reason. I suggest cutting off contact with your ex and if the feelings don't go away you have to end your current relationship. It is just not right to string someone along.
Agree you could be deifying the ex in hindsight and ditto to stringing current bf along.
When you're with the right person you do NOT risk losing them from your life by actually ending it. And starting a relationship with someone else *and* staying in it for 6 months proves it was definitely ended in the full sense of the word. So, that you ended it with ex bf proves he wasn't the one. That you're now "this close" to ending it with current boyfriend, even ENTERTAINING that thought, results in the exact same conclusion as far as he's concerned, as well.
What's happening is this: you have needs that are used to being constantly fed yet are constantly hungry. They don't like the thought of becoming supplier-less. So if they believe that without bf 2 they'll starve, it's only natural and self-preservationist for them to force your mind back onto the only other supplier in town.
Only bf1 is NOT the only other supplier in town, is he.
You're too hungry. Are you secretly PacGirl (
) or is the truth that you arrived at supplier 2 *already* over-hungry (because supplier 1 had underfed you) but then supplier 2 went and did likewise, meaning, now you're ravenous... too starving to take the time to go out and about to find a THIRD supplier.
Or should I say fourth? Because here's the little-known truth: you yourself are a supplier. You can actually date *yourself* for a while (2-6 months depending on the rate of what follows). If you spoil yourself rotten in amongst taking good, healthy, sensible, self-disciplined care of yourself like would a new lover who thought you the greatest thing since sliced bread, by the time you're done you'll have set healthier standards about what you expect to get in return for what you now *know* you're capable of giving out (because you've been your own boyfriend thus witnessed it). By having that firmly fixed, knowledge-based expectation in your mind, your vibes will accordingly exude it, meaning you'll attract someone equally of your newly higher standard through his 'smelling' that advertisement.
Put it this way: if restaurants served up portions according to a diner's age, and you walked in looking as small and thin as a 6 year old girl, you'd expect to get given a child's portion to suit, right? Fatten yourself up so that any restaurant responds accordingly and you end up with an adult-sized plate that's piled high.
Restaurants 1 and 2 *both* sound sh*t to me, despite restaurant 1 has been making wholly contrived better efforts out of a hope of sticking it to restaurant 2 (for luring away its customer) by stealing that customer back again. If restaurant 1 had been able to cut the mustard then you'd never have left him to begin with. If a lover doesn't know what he's got until it's GONE then all that means is he hates loss more than he loved the gain (of you) at the time. Sense?