My boyfriend bailed on our one year anniversary
Hi everyone, I am new to this website but I'm hoping to get just a little help on a problem I am facing. It's nothing big, but it has had me very emotional for the past few days. I have been in a relationship with this guy for almost a year (we are only 18, so I feel like this is a big deal to be dating for so long). Next year he is moving to college a few hours away while I stay home for community college, which has me very worried about making the relationship last.
My problem recently is that he told me today that he wasn't interested in spending our anniversary together this year (our first, and my first anniversary period). We were going to get a hotel room and spend the night together. I work two jobs, am president of my thespians troupe, and have been running fundraisers for my school all weekend while balancing school. He has been very busy also. He has been our of town since Friday of last week. He's been to several school conferences and orientations. He hasn't really talked to me in days, although I have set aside a few minutes out of my day to tell him I'm thinking of him.
I asked him to call me since Thursday, but he never did. Sunday night he said he wasn't feeling well.Monday, the day I was supposed to go book the hotel room, he said he was feeling better, but later he told me that we should "just wait" on the hotel room. Not keeping in mind that I have school, thespians, and two jobs to balance and I would struggle to find another free day/night. I begged off from work so I could spend time with him. I told him I understood, but I am very upset about this! He didn't apologize, or anything. He just said that he wanted to wait, and when I made it very clear that I was upset, he never responded. Tonight, after I finally texted him to say good night, he said "sorry about the lack of communication this weekend."
I understand to some degree why he is completely bailing, but I do not understand why he is being so insensitive. I don't feel as if he even cares about our relationship anymore. (Note: we've been fighting for months over his indifference and apathy towards everything. He is very self-centered, and has admitted to being so.)
Any advice? Thank you all, sorry for the long post!!
"I understand to some degree why he is completely bailing . . ."
So you understand that he is completely overwhelmed with what he is doing and that he is trying to make plans for his future education.
". . . but I do not understand why he is being so insensitive." Because he's only 18 and boys his age don't think that a one year anniversary is important. His idea of letting you down is to ignore you. Because he just can't find the words for how he feels, he is not even able to verbalize this to you.
I'm sorry, dear, but this has been brewing for a long time. You said: "we've been fighting for months over his indifference and apathy towards everything. He is very self-centered, and has admitted to being so."
Get ready to start dating again. "Next!"