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Relationship advice Met this guy on an online dating site. Our meeting went very well. Spent few hours talking, laughing and joking. After our first meeting, the next day. He was scheduled to leave for a week on his business trip. He was very prompt with his contacts. Stayed in touch through out the day and night. Even the day he left, he would text when is arrived, during layover, when he landed etc. Then 2-3rd day of his trip. I noticed his texts were limited to once a day. Either good morning or good night. The day he was to come back, he tells me he wants to see me as soon as he gets in. Since his arrival was late in the evening. I asked him to either text or call when he is home and settled in and will play by ear. Way pass his arrival, I have not heard from him. I gave myself few more hours (he could be tired) before contacting him. Much later, I texted asking if he got in safe. I hear nothing. On 2nd day since his return. I texted with, "I must have lost you. I will leave you be". Then, I deleted his number and went about with my business.

3 weeks later, I get a text from him. I recognized the area code of the #. After small talk here and there. I asked what happened then? He tells me since he registered on that dating site, he was talking to multiple ppl and got overwhelmed (he says he no longer is on the dating site). He was spending so much time glued to his phone and not being productive. Along with that, he got busy with couple of other things. So, I asked another. "you got overwhelmed, you have narrowed down to the ones you want to stay in touch. Obviously, I wasn't one of them. What made you contact me now?". His response, he didn't narrowed none. He wants fun relationship, take it slow, get to know each other and see where it will lead and it seemed I wanted the same thing and that we clicked. After it all, what he regretted most was not stayed in touch with me. He wanted to contact me for a while but he didn't know how I would feel about it but he decided to give it a shot and see if he still has a chance and that he was a dumbass. I appreciated him being honest. I am sure he could have come up with some lame ass excuses.

Anyway, our conversation went for a long time through out the day. In the late evening, he asks if he can invite me over a movie and some wine at his place. I declined, instead, I could meet him at a local restaurant (it was going pass 10pm). He says, he will be there in a jet. So, we met. As usual, we talked, laughed and joked. After some times have passed. We ended up at his place. We didn't have intercourse but we did fooled around (kissing, touching). Afterwards, he held me in his arms as we talked about random stuff. I had to leave as I had an early meeting the next day. As he was walking me to my car, he reached out and held my hand. We walked hand in hand. When we got to the car, he gave me kisses good night and when I got in the car, he stuck his head through open window and kissed again and asked me to text him as soon as I get home. So, I did. He replied, to get some rest and a good night.

...... Next day, I hear nothing from him. Now, as far as what happened that day through the night. I am a grown adult and if that were to be a booty call, I am mature enough take responsibility of my own action. The moment I agree to be at his place. I knew what could possibly happen. Also am aware that first sign of his contact after whole 3 wks, I should have taking some time. But, then, It is what it is. Sooner or later just isn't going to make much difference.

My confusion is, how one can act the way he does and all could be nothing but a booty call?. I am confused to whats real and whats not these days.

I am very curious to know and hear about what others think of the situation and ppl mind set.

PS: Yes, I did not hear from him since that night. Same time, I have not contacted him either.



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I read your post and I honestly don't know exactly what this sounds like he has feelings for you but this whoke no contact for days seems like maybe he's just using you and he's being fake. I think you need to let him know that you're smarter than this, and that you need to know if this is real or not. Be straight with him. If you notice some hesitation or some lame excuse then just let him go. You seem like a decent person, you don't deserve someone who makes you this confused.


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I'm sorry, but I don't see anything (from what you have described) that tell me he is anything other than what he said he'd be: out for the fun.

He likes the chase and when that got boring, he moves on. Then he comes back for the challenge/chase again. Expect him again to call you and start to work up something. Because that's really what he considers "fun."

That's how he gets his thrills.

Move on, wiser now.

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