This is too much
GUILTYMOM - Apr 20 2015 at 14:54
I JUST WANT TO TELL ALL THE PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE, WHO HAVE BEEN TALKING NONSENSE ABOUT ME, AND MAKING WEIRD CONNECTIONS BETWEEN ME AND R, THAT ALL OF YOU SHOULD JUST STOP IT NOW. I THOUGHT I WILL GET GOOD ADVICES ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH MY MISERY, BUT THIS IS TOO BAD. THIS SITE HAS TRULY LET ME DOWN. HERE, PEOPLE, INSTEAD OF HELPING/CONSOLING OTHERS, JUST FALSELY ACCUSE THEM AND TERRIBLY HUMILIATE THEM, UNTIL THEY ARE FORCED TO GIVE UP VISITING THIS SITE. AND I WILL DO THE SAME NOW.
THANKS PEOPLES PROBLEMS FOR "HELPING ME A LOT".
Well, that was a premature reaction, wasn't it, because I've JUST THIS MINUTE posted my very kind and considered response to you on your thread (which everyone here can read).
Listen, you can't prevent people on a website from having to speculate in the absence of the normal clues, cues and evidences of the physical world on what is real and what isn't, particularly not when forums characteristically *do* get bored pretenders. You can't deny that your dates and R's were so close together as to be suggestive and worth *considering* in terms of whether or what meaning that might have held.
Be reasonable, madam. Try more to see other people's points of views and try to cease being so incoming sensitive yet outgoing insensitive. I get that you're upset, but people don't stop being naturally curious about where they and others stand just because one visitor amongst myriad many walks in. You also have to remember that you reap what you sow, and what you sowed was - you have to appreciate - nasty, unempathetic comments to a frightened and miserable little girl of only 17. That, for your information, was what sparked the belief that you must surely be R herself - because no-one could get their heads around the fact that anyone COULD allow themselves to be seen to be so nasty, otherwise.
I need to clarify some things:
>> Maybe mine and r's "dates were so close together". So what? There may be many people who enter this site, and their dates may be similar to many other people. Then why only me? Why am i the only one to be blamed?
>> Maybe this forum "gets bored pretenders", but that doesn't mean that you all just go on every thread and assume that it maybe a pretender. It hurts people, hope you understand.
>> Another thing. Maybe I talked to r a bit rudely, but I just couldn't stand her comments. Look at the way she was talking about her parents. I am also a parent and felt bad about it. Maybe it was rude, I apologized for it, but this is the truth. She indeed looked fake to me. I just tried to give her a piece of mind, but looks like she denied to take it.
Soul-mate, THESE ARE NOT VALID REASONS AT ALL WHY YOU THOUGHT ABOUT ME AS R. Please explain me the proper reason. I really felt bad seeing such comments about me. This is the craziest thing I have ever heard that a 40 years woman is equated to a 17 years kid. Doesn't make sense at all. Is my English so weak that I sound like I was about 20 years younger?
Once you reply to this, I will answer your response in my thread. FIRST I WANT TO CLEAR THE AIR, AND I AM DEFINITELY NOT TALKING ONLY ABOUT SOUL-MATE. I AM TALKING TO ALL THOSE WHO POSTED SUCH STRANGE COMMENTS ABOUT ME.
YOU OWE ME AN EXPLANATION
GM, I'm sorry, but I don't entertain people who speak to me as if I'm nothing more than their personal lackey. Would you like to try that again, nicer and more graciously, please?
If you felt bad, I sincerely apologize to you Soul-mate. But, what about me? Don't you think you all also need to do the same, since you all have hurt me too?
Okay, let's rewind a bit, shall we?...
First off, you might have noticed that there's no member-to-member email facility on here (one reason for which is precisely so that all issue-related and -relevant thoughts remain above-board where they can be openly discussed between members like mature adults rather than mealy-minded kids still back in the playground).
Bradley82, over on *R's thread* - "My Life Is Full Of Problems" - (not yours, note) showed that his brain was working just fine when he posted, for the advisers' benefit, a *mere supposition* regarding the *possibility* of R (not you, note) being one and the same person as you (or herself bogus full-stop). He made it perfectly clear that it was just a vague worry that had crossed his mind due to the highly suggestive coincidence of timing. Bradley himself obviously realised it was a long shot, hence not making the statement over on *your* thread (in other words, he took care not to upset *you*, instead believing it was safer there because R was obviously long gone, never to return). I guess he just naturally presumed you wouldn't be monitoring R's thread thus wouldn't in all likelihood see it. I imagine that Ruffled Reader and Susiedqqq presumed the same, particularly when not everyone opts to receive email alerts.
Having already considered but dismissed this natural suspicion in my own mind, I didn't want to leave his comment sat there un-addressed in case it might lead everyone else to jump to the same erroneous conclusion. Hence I took the trouble to clear the matter up (by explaining *why* it didn't make sense when thought through more expansively).
That I did so is what made Ruffled Reader post her sincere and unreserved apology. My response to that was to point out that  it was understandable for advisers to worry that their good-heartedness might possibly be being taken advantage of in such cavalier fashion (because it happens) and  likewise understandable when it came to *wishfully thinking*, i.e. the bogus poster theory being far less upsetting for such highly empathic people than having to sit with the knowledge that not one but *two* individuals were in such abject psychological agony.
I therefore personally did nothing to upset you apart from perhaps leaving my positive criticism of Bradley's intellect too vague and open to misinterpretation (by one as situationally-naturally hyper-sensitive as yourself). But, for that, yes, of course I apologise.
But here is the rub, GM. Anyone who was in *less* of a bad way - i.e. the forum visitor norm - wouldn't have found these perfectly bog-standard hypothetical side-discussions so upsetting. Therefore, what "everyone" is guilty of is nothing more than ignorance due to plain inexperience when it comes to such grave issues. I repeat, you cannot expect an entire culture to transform itself for the benefit of *one* individual in the face of what is a rare and uncharacteristic situation.
You're in the wrong place, sweetheart. The nature of your tragedy and your understandable hyper-sensitivity dictate that you direly need in-person, *one-on-one*, "real life" counselling where other people are neither privy to your problem nor capable of voicing their own musings about it. And that's why I have consistently been telling you to seek out this more appropriate and befitting remedy.
...In which case, I wasn't even *expecting* a response. As I thought I'd made clear in my final paragraph, the intention behind my response on your thread ("I am Guilty") was for it to pose as a *springboard* to your seeking the proper "real life" recourse.
So do you mind my asking why you seem so reluctant to do so?
LOOK SOUL-MATE, YOU ARE INSULTING ME NOW. AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE IT. I THINK YOU FORGOT THAT YOU YOURSELF INTRODUCED ME TO R'S THREAD. THEN I MYSELF, COMMENTED ON R'S THREAD. SO I VISIT HER THREAD TO SEE WHETHER SHE HAS UNDERSTOOD WHAT I SAID OR NOT. BUT LOOKS LIKE SHE HASN'T. SO YOU GOT YOUR ANSWER?
It's now clear to me that even with my having the best will and intention in the world not to do so, I would still somehow end up insulting you. This is a lose-lose situation whichever way you look at it.
Nobody here concluded that my introducing you to R's thread was for the purpose of you talking to her so cruelly and unempathetically. Quite the opposite. You let me, yourself and this whole forum down when you chose to do that.
I'm sorry but I think my putting a stop to any further interactions with you is the only sensible and responsible thing left to do.
Please either seek a referral from your GP for private professional counselling (or, if you can't manage that, go online or ask amongst friends, relatives and acquaintances for someone in your area whom they'd recommend).
I wish you the very, VERY best of luck.
THERE WAS NOTHING CRUEL ABOUT WHAT I SAID TO R, SOUL-MATE. I JUST TRIED TO GIVE HER A PIECE OF MIND, BUT SHE REFUSED TO TAKE IT, I REPEAT MYSELF. ALSO, I THINK NO ONE OF YOU WILL EVER UNDERSTAND ME. YOU ALL WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE FUN OF ME, I SUPPOSE. SO I WILL GO NOW. BEFORE THAT I WILL THANK PEOPLES-PROBLEMS FOR NOTHING. I HOPE YOU ALL WILL STOP INSULTING OTHER PEOPLE AT-LEAST READING THIS.