Need advice

Posted by
EAMETHYST
on Apr 27 2015 at 22:08
Member since: 27 April 2015
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category My ex boyfriend(32) and i(35) were together for over a year. We've had our up's and down's. I moved to his town and to live with him. We got along very well. Talked about settling down with each other. We broke up in dec. He was sweet and caring and loving. He is an alcohilc. He does get jealous. Has a temper and anger. We always took care of each other. I get frustrated and mad because he avoids instead of talking about things. I'm at fault to.

I left for the holidays and heard he was dating a 21 year old. I blocked him from calling me and texting because I was hurt and upset. He was drinking allot and would leave me not nice message. He can a nice drunk then turn to mean. Not all the time. Just depends on how much he drank and what. We didn't talk for over a month. He emailed and asked for me to answer his calls. So I did. We had been talking since Jan til about 2 weeks ago. I was out of town when we started talking. He was still supposedly dating her. Come to find out they weren't really together. He thought they waere. She has a boyfriend prior to him. When he found out he broke it off. That ended in march.

He told me he cares, has feelings and wants me in his life. When I was out of town he asked me to wait for him. Doesn't want me with anyone else. He would accuse me of cheating. I never cheated on him and even I haven't. He never accused me when we were together. Someone told him I was and he won't that, that's why he was saying it. I've been in town and it of town since feb. We saw each other a few times. During those times he made it clear didn't want me with anyone. He didn't want to push us. So we were talking and spending sometime together.

March rolled around. I was moving into my apartment in the same town because he said wanted me around. He helped me move. Told me he was glad I was here. I left town for work. I got back around easter. We saw each other for a few times. Spent the night with each other. The next day we talked. After that day he has been avoiding me. He tells me he wants space and to figure him out. I get frustrated and mad when he avoids. I ask questions and avoids. So yesterday I told him I wanted my stuff. He sad no. I finally got my stuff. He's being a jerk because people are there. I've asked for 2 weeks what he is feeling. I've told him he treats me crappy. I'm done with the games and everything. I want him in my life but not the way he's been. He gets mad and says stuff to but I don't know what to believe. Like yesterday he said he help me move to get me out of his life. That doesn't make sense.

I'm confused. I love him allot and care allot about him. I'm trying. I'm not getting that in return now

Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Apr 28 2015 at 12:43
Member since: 27 December 2013
Alcoholics always need other people to enable their behavior.

Blame, jealousy, selfishness, pouting, anger-control - these are also some of the behaviors of an alcoholic.

How much do you want to bet the 21 year old wouldn't put up with his behavior?

Reply from
EAMETHYST
on Apr 28 2015 at 14:22
Member since: 27 April 2015
I know these are behaviors of an alcoholic. He is one. He gets like this sometimes with others but recently its more often. Something changed or happened and I am trying to figure out what. Drinking he never got away with it with me. When we were together his drinking was causing trouble and that wasn't the only problem. His friend didn't want me around because I changed things. The drinking was less. I was living there, etc. People in this town do not like change. When it comes to my ex and the drinking. People just see it as that's just him. They don't do anything about it. They won't say anything. They sit back and let it happen. Its been like way before I came into the picture. I'm tod since he was a kid.

The 21 year old. She put up with it. She encouraged it. She like to party and drink. She took advantage of the situation and used him. She was and is dating someone since sep 2014. I found out about her boyfriend. Her boyfriend and herself and I have mutual friends. My friends got a hold of to tell me what's going on with her, what she does. Her boyfriend got a hold me because he realized we have mutual friends. I told my ex everything. That's how he found out. He realized the truth about her. The signs were all there that she was using him and has other guys in her life. Little things like: not going on with each other or her friends. She was always with her friends, at school or baby sitting.

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