II can't stop thinking about him
Married for 10yrs. He's a good man. For 2yrs sex was non existent and communication minimum. I went to him crying that I missed him. This was taking a toll on us. I get a message saying he's been going to a bar after work ge numbers from girls. I defended him still. But when I ask why didn't he tell me about going out after work, I got no answer. I started feeling more lonely and so started chatting online. I met someone I now started to care about because he helped me get through the last year when things would get bad for me emotionally. My husband has gotten better this year but my heart isn't there anymore. I don't want to hurt him either. He knows about my feelings for this other man but doesn't pay mind because we are so far apart. This other man says he cares for me too but distance is a problem. I want to be able to let him go and keep my marriage even if it isn't the best. But it hurts to even think about not having the one person who was there for me when I was at my lowest. I have a Chance to see him in July but should I? My emotions are just so messed up right now.
Instead of facing the problems with your husband head on, you sought comfort in chat groups. You needed someone to talk to, but not on chat groups. This developed into something, but you were not free to begin any kind of relationship!
Do you realize you have done the SAME thing as your husband did?
Make an effort to make it work with your husband. He sounds like he wants to try. Your trust level is down, but that can be earned back, mostly by his behavior. A counselor will help both of you figure out what happened and how you can rebuild.
Let this other relationship go. It's not fair to him, and to you either.
Well a decade is a lot to give up. Maybe try talking with your husband about trying to rekindle what you had before. If you both give it an honest effort and it doesn't seem to change anything, then you should probably think about moving on.
Do the right thing. Maybe the love is still there, you just have to try it again.