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My problem

I guess these past high school years I've always felt rejected. I never had friends on the sport team I was involved in. My best friend from 1st grade didn't want to hang out or talk to me because I wasn't crazy or fun enough. But then again when I'm thinking back I guess I kind of had a guard up especially when it came to guys. Any advances I was quick to shut down, guys that I was actually falling for I always found a problem with them and I guess rejected them before they could reject me. I never went out of my way to make friends or boyfriends in fear of rejection. I have the most kind and loving parents but thinking back I guess I was always scared of disappointing them or being rejected by them too. Now in college by sister got a boyfriend and no longer wants to be my friend even though we were so close and would tell each other everything so in a sense the one person who I never thought I'd be rejected by I am. Even though My old friends can be awful friends at times I guess I hold on so tightly because I feel one day they will walk away from me too even though in a sense they already have. I feel alone even though I am surrounded by people. There are no guys in my life not even a guy friend that I talk to. I don't even have a girlfriend that I talk to on a regular basis. I feel like it is all my fault though because I am always to scared to try and make friends and even my new college friends I always think they don't like me. I don't like my body but I have no motivation to exercise. What's the point? Who am I trying to impress? My sisters out with her boyfriend why I am babysitting and doing laundry. I feel as though this is what my rest of my life will be even though I constantly tell myself it will get better I feel that I've been saying that for 5 years now and I don't know if I can say it much longer. I keep telling myself it's not a big problem and to stop feeling so sad but I can't. I don't know what I want to do with my life the future is so unclear I feel like I am drowning in loneliness, self-pity, and anger.

My problem

The past is comforting. You long for the old days. The future scares you. ----welcome to the world. Everyone feels that way. "I constantly tell myself it will get better" You have hope! Good. Of course it will get better. But that takes ACTION. What have you done in the last 30 days to help you change your life? If you don't know where to start, perhaps some professional guidance is in order. That would help in your feelings of being overwhelmed. What is your age?

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