Ten months ago in July I began talking to a guy I went to primary school with. I was going through quiet a nasty break up with the father of my children and at the time and "John" ( not real name) was one of the few people I was able to talk to. We would chat every day on Facebook and eventually atleast once a week I would stay at his house for the night when I was really down and he would hug me and tell me I deserve better, I'm beautiful, he wishes I could be his etc. but I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship.
I started seeing another guy and fell pregnant but this new guy wanted an abortion. Once again I turned to John for help and he would tell me I didn't need to hae an abortion he would help me and be there for me and support me. He is great with kids. I miscarried and John helped me through it.
New Years eve (the twentieth anniversary of my dads murder) I once again felt alone and had no one to be with. John was there for me. After a great night and months of johns patience and persistence I decided to give him a chance. At the start it was great he would hug and kiss me all night in bed and I would fall asleep with his cuddles. But after weeks of nothing more than just cuddles and kisses I began to wonder why he wouldn't have Sex with me. He kept saying he was waiting for the right time, he didn't want to just do it, he wanted it to be special. Most night he would make it really hard and all I wanted was to have him close but he would say "no, soon I promise"
Valentine's day came about and we went to meet his family, the following day he finally had sex with me and said now I could have it when ever I want. But that wanted case....
We have been together for five months now and rarely have sex. When we do have sex I have to almost beg for it. And once we start, almost every time he goes soft and has to ask me to stop and play with himself to get hard again and can only cum if his having sex from behind.
He says he wants to have children with me but doesn't seem to want to have sex with me. If I'm lucky I can convince him maybe once a week but that's lucky.
We argue all the time every time I bring it up, he always has a new reason for not wanting sex. He is tired. Sore back. Headache. Sick. Has to be up early. He thinks I'm already pregnant. There are other people in the house and they might hear. Etc.
I have even dressed in lingerie for him and he said he couldn't have sex because he just went to the toilet and it would hurt.... Like I was born yesterday...
He avoids intimate kisses with me now, I don't get cuddles anymore coz it's either to hot or I'm too cold or his back hurts.....
I have never has this problem before... I'm not a vain person and io by mean to sound cocky but I'm a reasonably attractive woman, slim build, big brown eyes, Nice chest and bottom and have never had any problems in this area before and can't understand why I have to beg for sex or argue, why outfits don't help or why when we do have sex he has to play with himself to get hard again after going soft...
It's begining to make me self conscious and feel unloved. I feel like I'm not sexy to him and that there's something wrong with me. I can't spend my life with a guy who doesn't want to touch me or make me feel special or want me close like o want them.. I don't want to be in a relationship with a man who is gay and waste more time than I alreay have with a man who may be gay and just using me as a cover or a way to avoid admitting his sexuality wen I could be finding someone who really loves and wants me.
I'm 25 in June, I want a family a husband and more kids. Not a relationship built on lies...
Someone help me please...
Is it possible his gay??
Could be. All signs point there. Do you think you are a "cover" for him in the workplace or in front of his family?
Why don't you just ask?
When is the last time he got a complete physical?
Are there other people in the house? Maybe this is an obstacle, too.
What happens when you go away for a weekend?
Try a weekend away, just the two of you, with no distractions. Tell him it's a romantic weekend.
You deserve honesty. If he loves you, he will tell you what's going on.
He has been there for you, he just can't be there like you need for the future. Try to understand and let him go gently.
I think I'm a cover for both his family and himself. I'm not sure he has admitted to himself if it's true or not.
I'm scared to ask him in case #1 I'm wrong and he leaves or #2 he gets upset and we argue again which is a real possibility going by my past history trying to even talk about how hurt I am by the lack of intimacy.
We haven't had a weekend away yet but perhaps something I should suggest and see where that leads.
Thank you for your reply...