I don't know where I should go from here.
My boyfriend and I are not seeing eye to eye
That, Frustrated0913, is the mark of an highly insecure and lazy or over-entitled and lazy man who wishes to cut wooing corners by making you cling tighter to him than you would otherwise, out of sense of threat (that if ever you weren't attentive enough, another woman would be able to steal him from under your nose). That way he doesn't have to cultivate in you a sense of natural attachment by working on you the NICE AND IMPRESSIVE way, i.e. Wooing you. It's called, levelling the playing field: HE feels unsafe and, rather than making you cling out of love, makes you cling out of fear and possessiveness. Result: he feels clung-to thus SAFE. In his case, not just safe from ever being rejected but also safe to do what the hell he damn well pleases and SOD how YOU feel as a result.
This female friend is highly naive and has zero inkling that she's being nothing but USED as his tool with which to emotionally manipulate you into being extra loving and attentive towards him, i.e. him getting the perks without having to do the pre-corresponding WORK. This he does by encouraging her in subtle ways followed by equally subtly failing to discourage her when she then tries to bring to fruition what she's been led to believe is their potential as a future couple. What I mean is, a man who didn't *like* that kind of supposedly uninvited come-on would respond with a text containing a ticking-off, not fail to respond to it yet continue chatting.
No, he ISN'T just using her on the job front because by your own admission she was in the picture even BEFORE then, when you and he first got together. He's using her for BOTH. Buy One, Get One Free.
"Being a woman myself I know when women want something we will get it no matter the circumstances."
Er, no. Not when success relies utterly on another individual's consent and that other individual won't give it, they don't. Men are not mindless and easily-led puppets. And this supervisor is not the one in the wrong here. She owes you nothing. It's your BOYFRIEND who should be keeping her away from the pair of you and your relationship.
"I have had 2 of my ex's cheat on me and result in pregnancy when I was with them. It just makes me a little apprehensive about this whole him working with her thing."
Well, then, you've obviously jumped into this relationship too early whereby you haven't yet examined those ex relationships in hindsight to work out all the genuinely identificatory signs and characteristics belonging to types who cheat at life and games in order that you can in future give them a wide berth. This means, you've gone from CHEATER TYPE to only marginally better, SEMI-CHEATER TYPE. If you'd instead taken longer to grieve and contextualise all the events of these ex relationships, your recovery path would have led you to where you'd have SKIPPED that "half-crap-half-better bloke" stage to BETTER/BEST.
Here's how a better/best thinks and acts:
"Who GIVES a sh*t that this woman who fancies me can POSSIBLY get me a better job?! One, I'm no retard, I am perfectly capable of getting another job on my own. And, two, anyone who upsets my woman and threatens my beautiful relationship can do a funny run 100 miles away from me because I am NOT going to allow anyone or any THING to ruin things!"
Is that him? NO! This is him:
"He was really rude about this being brought up again and said I basically have to find a way to deal with it because he does not want this conversation to come up again." and "...The response from him was that he didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend but probably will come over".
Of COURSE he doesn't want to deal with it. Because it's not a problem. FOR HIM. You? Who cares/tough tittie.
See? Neither a prince nor an *outright* scumbag. Something in between. But not even halfway, more like only one third better.
So SEMI-abusive HALF-scumbag is alright by you, is it? That's all you deserve in terms of boyfriend grade and you can't do better than that, can you not? Covered in scales and slime, are you?
In short, even ASIDE from this secret text exchange, you are continuing to be treated like your feelings don't matter and ignored for 2 hours BECAUSE YOU'RE TAKING IT RATHER THAN GETTING UP AND GOING HOME ALONE AND REFUSING TO HAVE ANYTHING MORE TO DO WITH HIM UNLESS AND UNTIL HE STARTS TO BEHAVE LIKE AN EXCLUSIVE, COMMITTED (i.e. Steady) *BOYFRIEND*.
"That his friendship with her is more important "
You said it!
As for this? "He continued to tell me that I need to stop making him feel bad when he did nothing wrong." Tell him *I* said, 'F**K OFF, YOU POMPOUS, LYING, FUDGING, BET-HEDGING, SELFISH, SELF-CENTRED, EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE, USING TW*T!'.
"I don't know where I should go from here."
Yes you do. It starts with 'You're' and ends in 'fired!'.
""Being a woman myself I know when women want something we will get it no matter the circumstances."
Stop being a control freak who thinks she can "make him change". No, you can't. Only HE can do that and...he sees no reason to. Dump the dud so that he *does*. He then learns that if you treat your girlfriend like she and her feelings don't matter, YOU LOSE HER and some other lucky chap who even HAS IT IN HIM to appreciate her gets her.
He's using you to give himself a more attractive edge to boyfriend-stealers and using her to ensure you're too busy trying to win the competition to dump him.
Dump the dud, find your self-respect, vow that you'll never again settle for scum or semi-scum, let that genuine mindset exude through your vibes to where it can be 'read', and then wait for your prince to correspondingly walk in, read it, and pick you - his female counterpart. That's how it works. That simple. That's how people get princes and princesses. (Ain't rocket science.)
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