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I've always had a steady relationship with my mum and dad. We've never been close enough that I tell them things but I don't not get on with them. They have been married my entire life, I moved in with my nan December 2013 for company for her as my Grandad had just passed away. Shortly after I discovered that my mum and dad are on a swingers website and they have been meeting people on there for sex. This mortifies me and it is highly embarrassing! I am 21 and I also have a younger sister who is 14. I dont think this is fair on my sister at all because I'm worried that if anybody local finds out that she will be bullied at school for it as my dad is quite well known in the area. Also, since then I have moved in with my partner and we have a baby daughter, I feel as though I don't want to see them anymore due to the feelings I get when I see them. That means them seeing less of their granddaughter which I don't think is fair which also means other family members don't get to see her as I have to stay with my mum and dad when I visit. I really need some advice on how to tackle this, I don't know if to confront them about it or just become distant with them and hope they don't realise? Any help would be appreciated. Thank you!

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Oh Dear, some family secrets are just not meant to be "discovered" - how did you find this out? Look - it's shocking to kids that their really do parents have a sex life. (Yes, they actually "do it";) However, this is a little above that. (Again - who told you this and why?) You are just going to have to forgive your parents for being consenting adults. Apparently is has not affective their marriage. If the "community" knows about this, then that is something THEY will have to deal with. Please know that this in no way diminishes their parenting capabilities or their grandparent love. Please do not withhold your child from them - and them from your child - for what they do in private.

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Hi Dolly27, Personally, I think it would be unfortunate to let this cause a rift between everyone in your family that might never be mended. I understand being concerned for your younger sister, but she's their daughter. There's really nothing you can do to improve things. If they're decent parents to her as you say they have been to you, then I don't think there's anything to gain and a lot to be lost if you confront them on this. If this part of their lives remains private, how is it worth the loss of family to gain...what? Whatever you choose to do, I wouldn't expect them to change. If you truly can't tolerate them anymore because of this, I would suggest quietly distancing yourself. That would give you more time to consider whether you truly don't want them to be a part of your lives anymore before saying or doing something you may end up regretting. Either way, it's a good idea to give yourself as much time as you can to come to terms with distressing information before making a final decision.

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