Is it a good or bad idea to let my daughter visit her mom in jail?
my wife will be going to prison for eight months for being involved in a financial crime at the company she is at. I willing to stay with her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions. And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter she is rightfully serving her punishment which is the right thing for her mistakes. I am wondering what is the best way to prepare for this situation and how to handle it. I have a daughter who is 15 and she seems to be handling it fine. I told her right away about it and she reacted pretty calmly. She later joked about how "now her mother is the one being ordered around". I have no problem with that really as it is probably better to joke a bit instead of being hysterical. I am wondering if she should visit. I went and visited my wife it was one giant room with several tables and several guards around, I saw my wife at one table. She was dressed in her jail clothes. We talked for about 30 minutes then in the end the officers line the inmates up and walked them through one of the sealed doors. I wonder if I should let my daughter visit. Would it be wise to take her when she will see the prison environment, other inmates and even guards could be intimidating. If I do allow her how should I prepare her?
I think you should allow her to visit, after all it is her mother. I understand that your worried about the effect it could have on your daughter but she deserves to see her mother. Consider the visitation in prison as being a realistic "What can happen." for her. She's fifteen and probably stronger than you realize. Prepare her and make sure she understands how intimidating the environment can be but most of all ask her if she wants to go. Explain that it may be difficult for her to see her mom like that but you won't keep her from her if she thinks she can handle it. Also, your wife made a series of mistakes. She's human and she will serve her time and hopefully learn from this experience. Try to bear in mind that this is going to be very difficult on her as well. She'll be more lonely than she lets on. Something like that takes a toll on any person and we that haven't been through it ourselves, can't understand. Be there for her, calls and visits. If your daughter WANTS to see her mom, let her. It may be the largest shining light through her sentence. If she was a good mom and wife who just stumbled down the wrong path consider just being the rock that both your daughter and wife need at this time.
All you can do is invite her: "I'm going to see mom today. Would you like to come? Let me tell you what to expect and you can decide."
Some 15 year old girls lack the kind of empathy needed for this kind of situation. Her remark kind of reveals her feelings, but that may be a coverup for real disappointment and hurt. (Perfect, bossy mom was doing something wrong - and got caught?"
I think it depends on the 15 year old. You know her best.
Your wife most likely has mail privileges. Maybe they can start up a mail conversation.
What would you say are the main benefits in visits over phone calls?