Is my decision right or wrong?
I am a doctor, recently finished my house job and got engaged to an army doctor. He has strictly forbidden me from joining army... And wants me to go to teaching side and choose physiology as my specialty ...
The problem that worries me a lot is that by being in teaching side and in civil setup how will i be able to live with him,as he will be posted to different cities and its not necessary that there will be a medical college in every city where he gets posted and me finding a job. I love him. But my career is not easy with him. I don't want to go in clinical and practicing side, teaching is a fine profession for me but Am so confused how to carry it side by side. I cant compromise my career. I want to work and attain some good position. Some times i think did i take right decision of marrying him or i should have opted for some civil doctor.
As a person he is good. Me and my family loves him. The only thing that bothers me is my future in career.
Forbidden you? STRICTLY forbidden you?
Sorry? Are you telling me you married your own dad?
That aside, the scarcity of a venue per area posting sounds like his idea of an automatic blockade for in case you end up rebelling against his 'law' regardless of the 'embargo'.
Seemingly, then, he doesn't want you to work FULL-STOP or wants you to work only part-time. (Yes dad, no dad, three bags' full, dad.)
The question here, then, is this: Who moved the pre-engagement goalposts - you or him? Was how you two would function as a married couple, including your respective careers, pre-agreed prior to his proposal or your wedding day or has it just suddenly come to light with this (assuming unexpected) circumstantial development? Because if not, if this was all sketched out yet only now that the reality of the situation has hit, you don't like it, then that's YOU attempting to move the goalposts to suit... in which case, he has the moral high ground. If not, or if nothing of this had even been touched on as a subject up until now, meaning, only NOW are you finding out that he thinks he's the boss of you (rather than equal teammates), then you need to sit back down at the negotiations table to strike for yourself a better deal...and make him realise you mean business, not only in terms of your career but as to whom gets to play boss WHEN.
Team-mates swap and switch according to whatever life's surprise or unforeseen developments dictate: when he's ill, for example, you play boss, and vice versa when you're laid low. He'd better come to terms with that fact and leave his superior officer's cap at work where it belongs, lest he creates for himself a very bitter and resentful future wife.
Put it this way, you didn't fall in love with him because the first words out of his mouth were, 'Hi... Get with me and I'll spend the rest of your life dictating what you may or may not do when on my watch', did you. You'd have said, 'Ugh, eff off!'. Case closed. ;-)