Boyfriend's family vs me
Yesterday, I was supposed to go to my driving class, but I skipped it to hang out with my boyfriend and my best friend. We went back to my boyfriend's cousin's house. Well, eventually, my friend's boyfriend came over. We were all at this house and my friend and her boyfriend went into some girls room to "talk" or whatever. That's what they said they were doing. Mind you that we are all teenagers around the age of 16.
Eventually, the owner of the house (who was there the whole time) came out and told my friends to get out of the back bedroom. He sounded a little bad but never said anything about us all being there. So, my boyfriend told them to stay in the other room a few feet from us. We stayed in the living room and fooled around a but but didn't actually have sex (because it's weird doing that in someone else's house and it's my time of the month). My friends thought that we were having sex, so they decided they would. Needless to say, my best friend lost her virginity no more than 10 feet from me in a house that she or her boyfriend didn't know the owners.
After we all left, I didn't think that they would make a big deal out of us all being there. Well, last night at about 8 I got a text message from my boyfriends mom saying he was grounded and she was not very happy with what had happened today. She was mad about my friends more than me, but she was being rude and ignored my calls and texts. What do I do? Wait it out? I still want to be able to talk to my boyfriend!
I had just "gotten into" their family. I'm happy in my relationship. I love my boyfriend. We have been together for a while. I just got invited to a family picnic from them because they said that I was now family. And I don't want to lose that.
I feel like I didn't do anything wrong. They're mad about me being at the house. They're mad at my 2 friends for going back into the girl's room and being there when they weren't supposed to. I'm confused on what to do. I'm not good under stress or pressure. Any help will do.
So, your boyfriend is 16. Was he skipping class too when he chose to hang out with you? And he went to a stranger's house to make out with his girlfriend (you) while his friend had sex for the first time in the next room? Is this the first time he's skipped classes? Has he hung out at strangers' houses before? And now that his friends have had sex, he's going to be intending to have sex soon, too. I think his parents are understandably concerned. It's about their son's choices and priorities. Most parents want their kids to take their education seriously because it's one of the most important things separating people who find success and happiness from those who don't. His parents are worried. They've called a time out (grounded him) to figure out what's going on in their son's head and to give him more time to consider whether he's making the right choices.
But that's your boyfriend and his family. What about you? What are your plans for your life? It doesn't sound like you went to that house intending to have sex. Are you prepared for when it happens again? Have you considered what could happen? Do you know how to protect yourself? from pregnancy, from disease? Were you prepared that day if in the heat of the moment you had made a different choice? What about your boyfriend? Is he prepared, has he considered the possible consequences?
It's not about blame or fault or whether you did something wrong. It's about the consequences of your (and his) choices. Have you really considered them? If you're not good under stress or pressure, it's that much more important that you think things through long and carefully before rushing into decisions that could affect the rest of your life. And I'm not just talking about sex.
Your boyfriend's parents might be upset and angry, but they're not your enemy. And what they're doing isn't about punishment, it's about checking irresponsible behavior and giving you both more time to think about these things you're all doing. The better you demonstrate your own understanding and good judgment in situations the more trust and confidence parents will place in you.