so I've been talking to this girl for almost 2 weeks now and we meet 3 times it was fun but after the 3rd time we meet I just didn't feel the same anymore but I still like her... So I was honest with her and I told her that maybe we should take it slow for now and I would rather have her as a friend... She's was totally understanding and said that maybe it's better for us to not hangout out because all that she'll be thinking about if we're hanging out as friends is to kiss me because she cannot help but be attracted to me...
Anyways she texted me today saying that she wants to give it a try and take it slow if I want because she still likes me ...etc
I'm not feeling the same as she's feeling but I still do like her and think about her too, but to be honest I just don't want to be exclusive with her... I like spending time with her we have many thing in comment but not in a relationship...I've had a bad breakup few months ago and I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship now... I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to be exclusive with her but still I'm still attracted to her but not as much as she is to me I think
Any and all help is appreciated, sorry for the long weirdness of this post, but this is my Real hot streak and I just don't want to loose this one if I don't have too...
Thanks a lot guys! :)
Hi Ema Mia,
I'm not sure I understand. Didn't you already tell her you only want to be friends? And she wanted to take a break to make that emotional adjustment? Now she thinks she can just be friends and wants to try? Why is exclusivity even an issue? Friends aren't exclusive. If you're clear about just wanting it to be a friendship and treat her as you do your other friends, why the confusion?
If you're asking how to be careful of her feelings and ensure this new friendship develops as a friendship then I'd suggest including her in group activities with your other friends at first. Just be careful you don't treat her differently than you do your other friends and let her see that she is a friend and not more when she's with you and your other friends at the same time. Also, don't treat her differently when your other friends aren't around.
If she's still talking to you in a way you think has romantic undertones, then talk to her about that. Be specific about things she says that make you uncomfortable and ask her to stop. If she doesn't respect your boundaries once you've made them clear to her then you may need to reconsider whether it's possible to have just a friendship with her.
If all you really want is a friendship with her, I think making excuses because of a past relationship is a mistake. That is how you would be talking if you intend to string her along. That's not good. You would be saying to her, "I'm not ready now but maybe later when I'm finally able to move on from this past breakup." If that's not what you mean to say, then you are being unfair to her by implying that.