I need advice please help me
I am 19 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for three year. I live in north California and he lives in south California he is the only man I have ever been with and I love him so much. It hurt when we aren't tigether and we talk and text all day and give each other goodnight a every night. He has changed him self for me because of how much I worry. But when he asks me to do things for him such as call him when he is upset even when I know I should I don't. I don't understand why I do this and it's hurting our relationship I don't want to lose him we have been though a lot together. I can't remember things he has asked me to do and when I get upset when we argue he has to repeat himself multiple times even though I am listening I can't remember what he said not even a minute ago. Today he told me he was sick and I didn't even ask him what was wrong and when he asked me to call for just five minutes I for some reason didn't call and spent the whole day doing a essay. He got really up set and I just seemed to give him any answer when he asked me why I did it because I didn't know why myself. He gets annoyed when I tell him I don't know why I do things all the time. Which I understand I would be too if he did that to me. If any one has advise I need it this is my first boyfriend I haven't had to face this problem of mine before and I need to now
Do you know that people actually can't hear when under stress?
He calls you with situations that you can't do anything about, so you feel helpless and overwhelmed, then withdraw into non-action. (What are you supposed to do so far away?)
You are not a long-distance nurse or a caretaker. It is unfair that he burdens you with things that are not your responsibility or under your control, and make you stress out. That is his way of holding you to him.
Next time he "overloads" you, simply say, "Gee that's too bad. What are you going to do about that?" Give the problem back to him.
(Personally, I think that 19 is way too young to try to make a long distance relationship like this work. The more you step back or withdraw, the more his 'sicknesses' and list of things for you to do will get bigger. His neediness will get even stronger. I wonder if you are getting tired of him being such a burden on your mental health and are pushing him away by not responding to him.)