Can I keep putting up with her little lies?
Well, I've never asked for relationship advice before on a platform like this, but I feel I have to.
So I've been going out with this girl for almost 6 months now, and it's gradually dawning on me that she could be a compulsive liar. It's already at the point where my trust for her is all but gone.
She seems to lie to me about a lot of things and is one of those people who will adamantly deny everything to the death unless there is evidence right in front of her.
When we're together we get on so well, there is never any problem at all, until the little lies come out.
I'll give you some examples: when I first went back to her place I noticed a bunch of numbers on her wall, didn't think anything of it. Then one day the conversation turned to getting peoples numbers and I asked about them, she said they were just guys numbers she hadn't lost or thrown away so she just put them there but never spoke to them. A while later it turns out she texted a couple of them quite a bit and went on dates with another one of them.
One time while we were seeing eachother, it turns out she was texting another guy, which she blurted out when she was drunk. I waited until she was sober and asked about it, she denied everything. Turns out she had been texting him and even asked him out for a drink one time. I found out about all of this, and she knew that I knew. So I asked her about it and she instantly denied it, then realised I already knew and went back to being smiley and happy and saying she didn't know why she denied it. This rang alarm bells.
There have been a few other instances where she's lied about things she's done with her friends, things that honestly wouldn't bother me as they were before we met, but the fact she lied about them bothers me.
Then the other night we had our first argument, we went out and at one point I saw her get her boobs out randomly for her friends (male and female) which I wasn't comfortable with. One of her friends then told her that I saw this and she just laughed and said 'it's fine you're my friends'. She wouldn't have said anything or asked me about it at all if I I didn't say something later.
Then whilst we were having a bit of an argument, later on in the day, the conversation came around to exes. She told me she hadn't seen her ex for like 10 months before she met me, but I've recently seen a whole bunch of videos and photos of them together pretty much every month starting from one month before she met me. Again it wouldn't bother me but she lied so easily to me at a time where lies would do the most damage.
She tells me she loves me and that she seriously can think of life without me, and that everytime she thinks of her future I'm in it.
She just went off to camp America for 3 months and the plan was to meet her to travel with her afterwards. But now I'm not so sure. I figure if she lies about the small things she sure as hell would hide the big stuff. I don't really want to bring this up right now either (I only just found out she lied about her ex) because she just arrived there and I don't want her to be all down and sad whilst meeting all of these new people. Assuming she would feel that way at all. At the same time, waiting to talk to her about it would kill me.
What to do what to do. A 2nd opinion would be very appreciated. And maybe a 3rd or a 4th.
Thanks for reading.
She may or may not be a compulsive liar - or ADD, or lies because she's scared, or something else. But who cares?
The point is that you are done with her behavior, have no trust and can't stand the confusion/distortions,mis-communications/exaggerations, etc. etc. or whatever it is - so end it.
Find a gal whom you think is not a game player.
If you and she are younger (early 20's or even younger) you might have to accept that this isn't a long term relationship for her. She might be manipulating you a bit saying your in her future) because you fulfill some sort of need for her - ut it doesn't sounds like she's committed to any long term deal. My advice would be to play this to your advantage. Recognize this might just be a fling relationship and treat it as such. Unless you think this is the one and only you should be playing the field too.
Not all relationships have to be "the one". Maybe just have fun with it for now and get what YOU need from it. Lots of ladies out ther my friend.