so I thought things have been going good, been casually chatting with the ex, turned into daily, not friends on facebook, so when I see him liking things on my friends page , example, (just the past few days I notice) their profile picture or comments, it is like a blow to my heart (which I have said I am not going back there!!) but here I am, still talking to him, and starting to have these feelings again and last night I dreamt he flat out rejected me, so ya, here I am yet again, thinking I had better stop msgn him all the time with my thoughts and feelings (not deep feelings about us , just my day and whatnot) although that is kind of hard, since he will msg me too :/ and his daughter has been to visit my kids, so ya, she is going to visit this wknd, and it is hard not to care what he will be doing, last time he went out drinking. not my problem, not my concern!! I keep telling myself this. sticky spider web I cannot get free of!! have been focusing on my fitness, walking/jogging, and I do work pretty much everyday!! so I should have enough to keep my mind off of him!! he will say just enough to hint he wants me around, or show interest or talk, but ya that's all it ever is. talking (messaging) so I really am going to stop, I don't need to walk down that path yet again and set myself up for hurt yet again from this guy who likes me and is unable to love me!!
it does hurt, sometimes he will just say what I had just said but idk so I know he isnt' really into conversation!!
and yes there is a new guy I am messaging, but I know I am not quite over my ex. and I need to close the door. because it didn't work the first 3-4 times haha so it will not work this time!!
I do know I need to focus on me, I do know it wont work with the ex. I just need to walk away from him and any sort of romantic thing I felt for him are not really real. and if I keep clinging on to him, then I will never find the love that is right for me, like a guy who isn't afraid to say they love me, is open to affection, I don't know, just hurt from seeing that he is somewhat moving on but trying to keep me on the side.
today, is the last day I am going to feel romantic about this guy!! stop right here and right now!!