I don't know what to do
I Was in a long distance relationship(NC to IL) for about two years, over a year ago. We split up and haven't really spoken since, but I'm still crazy about her. I have tried getting over her but nothings really worked. I've dated other people, got a new job, met new friends, and other things to get my mind off of her but I still think about her everyday. When I have seen other people I just can't seem to focus on the relationship and end it before the other person can get attached because I know it won't work when I still love my ex. I haven't been able to really fall in love with someone when she is on my mind. I keep telling myself that the right girl just hasn't came along yet but I really feel my ex is the right girl. I feel the reason things didn't work was we were both young, the distance just kinda wears down on you when you're still in school and it is hard. I also had a lot of insecurities with myself and my life and was afraid to show that side and afraid to trust her because I was so afraid of losing her. I have really grown up since then and matured as a person.
Part of me wants to message her and just see what could happen, but the other half says don't because if she's happy, I don't want to interfere with that.
I guess I'm not really asking for an answer but just advice on what you would do perhaps or if someone has had a similar situation tell me what helped them get through it or over it. I know its up to me to make the decision. I just am looking for some help along the way.
Sounds like you don't really WANT to get over her.
What is it that holds you to her? YOU are not the same person now, and she won't be either.
I'm not trying to get over her, there isn't anything to get over. I know what we are and that is not together.
What holds me to her is she was the only person who has ever truly cared for me. She loved me for who I was and didn't try to change me. She might have changed, but that doesn't change the past. Maybe she would be completely different , maybe she is exactly the same, I am sure her life has changed, mine sure has. Like I said, I'm not looking for an answer on what to do, but more so advice to handle it.
"She loved me for who I was and didn't try to change me."
If these two things are your criteria for a relationship, then find a gal who fits.
(BTW - they are not unreasonable things to expect from a healthy relationship. Why are you having difficulty in finding a person who lets you be you?)
It's just one thing, but its more that she did that has kept me hanging on.
I try to talk to other people, but just can't seem to find someone. I've met some nice girls but it just hasn't worked.
My ex and me just worked, we knew each other inside and out, worked together with issues, hardly fought, got along like best friends. It wasn't just losing a girlfriend, it was losing everything that made it hard.