Old crushes in my dreams. Confusion overload!!!
Background: The shortest relationship I've ever been in was 14 months. I've been with my current boyfriend for very close to 2 years now. We've never even so much as broken up over a weekend. I've never been this serious about someone, and neither has he. We regularly talk about our future together and it's like talking about the weather at this point it's so natural. We've both admitted that breaking up would be disastrous to both of us, as we're both actually in love with the other, something neither of us has encountered in any previous relationships. I feel things for him I've never known existed.
Then my subconscious, about 2 months ago, started cracking this concrete base. I started having dreams about a male friend (whom I've known since we were both in diapers) that we started having a relationship. In these dreams I sometimes remembered I had a boyfriend but couldn't remember anything about him, amd other times I forgot him completely. This friend and I have never had a thing for eachther, in fact it was almost like we were siblings. We fell out in high school and didn't talk really at all. We just went our own seperate ways, although we still acknowledged eachother if we saw eachother. Two months ago I started having dreams that him and I were together, and as comfortable as my current boyfriend and I are. I brushed them off and laughed at it once I was awake. Neither of us would ever see the other like that, and that's absolutely fine with me. I have never had a waking interest in him.
In my 6th year I started liking this boy, although he never showed any interest in anyone except one girl who he dated then broke up with before high school. Through high school he never dated anyone. He was pompus and arrogant about his intellect and musical talents, and had a select group of friends, everyone else was invisible to him. My crush completely stopped once he went to high school and I was in 8th grade. I happily went on with life, never even giving it another thought. (except sometimes when I thought his interest in no girl make him asexual or a homosexual).
Last night I had a dream about him, except he'd grown much taller and was movie star handsome, but the biggest part was how sweet and amazingly nice he had become. In it, he asked me if I'd let him be my boyfriend, and said he had realized how wrong it was to ignore me, because he found me absolutely perfect (something my boyfriend says a lot and really does mean it). In the dream I remembered my current boyfriend, I could recall every memory I have ever had with him (in others if I remembered I had a boyfriend I couldn't tell you his name or what he looked like). I said yes, and he pulled me into him, hugging me as he began to cry. The next thing I remember is realizing I was waking up, and trying to push myself back into the dream hoping it was real.
(none of these dreams were sexual)
I came to my senses that someone doesn't suddenly become a foot taller and do a 180 on their attitude once I was awake. Id never be with him, but in the dream I was happier than I've ever felt and was trying to rip my way back into the dream to be in his arms again.
What the F is this suppose to be telling me?!
I feel so bad and furious at myself thinking I'd give away what I have for some unrealistic fantasy. I am very certain I'm with the man I want be with for the rest our my life, even if he isn't perfect. But is this suppose to be some kind of warning from those thoughts you toss aside when the person you love does something you hate? Am I setting unrealistic goals?
This is the first time I've not talked to him about something bothering me this much, because I know if he had the same dream and I knew, I'd be heart broken and feel like he really doesn't want to be with me.
Please help me understand!
There are all kinds of dream interpretations. But let me guess:
Known from childhood guy, (familiar enough to let him get close to you), the past sweeps you off your feet.
Perhaps you are longing for that kind of excitement in your current relationship.
How old are you two (you and BF?)
Yeah, I've known him since elementary school all the way up through high school. I had a crush on him 6th and 7th grade, then he went to high school when I went to eighth grade and I realized I didn't really like him because of the way he was and still is. He's 21. ( this isn't the first guy who I've known since diapers, it's the arrogant one I thought might be gay).
I just turned 20 and my boyfriend is 21. He was my first boyfriend, but it ended after 6 weeks because of his jealous ex. He told his best friend at the time that I was the girl he was going to marry. After a couple relationships on both sides and some maturing, we ran into each other and started talking again. We have been together since.