Could life be worse?
They say someone always has it worse than you. Yep, that's true. Someone right now is taking their last breath. But not trying to compare here. My life is total SHIT. Probably worse than 99.9% of people out there. There are worse things than dying. I have been suffering 24/7 for the past 5 years with no help whatsoever. I am stuck at home with NO FOOD and no way to get it. Why?
I am extremely ill and bedridden. I have been confined to the same chair for one year, except for when I go to the ER. I don't walk, I can barely speak. You're probably thinking... okay, then find a hobby.
Like what hobby? A neighbor is helping me write this, and <I, the neighbor> am basically posting everything she is writing in print. I cannot look at a computer screen, cell phone, or tablet due to frequent seizures & neurological issues. I cannot write much. This writing has taken me over 3 weeks to write in itself. I cannot read, due to the constant vertigo. I cannot talk much, just for a few sentences, as my illness has mainly affected my lungs. I can't walk to the refrigerator to get food. My main source of income is my fiance who is always at work. He gets paid minimum wage and walks 6 hours to work and 6 hours home. Needless to say, he works about 30 hours a week, but he's out of the house for 20+ hours per week "working". He can't help me with food or anything. There is no time for him to feed me because he is at work. He only feeds me when he gets home. I am wasting away. My muscles are completely gone. I am NOT able to listen to music. I am NOT able to watch TV. I am not able to use a computer. So tell me, what can I do? I cannot pick up the phone to call a friend due to my inability to speak for more than a few sentences. I cannot send an email. I cannot really do anything. So aside from my health issues, I'm dying of boredom. The health issues is extreme though> I suffer constantly. 24/7 pain and discomfort. Agony. Unable to breathe right. Surgeries, tracheas, etc. I can not walk at all, and I can barely pivot my body. I can't shower on my own, and I can't use my arms much, just my fingers and wrists. My oxygen level drops in the heat, so I can't get out.
I have family left but they're good for nothing. THey don't help me in the least. As they buy their luxury cars, I'm struggling to gain a pound due to mal nutrition. As they take lavish vacations and buy luxury gifts, they can't buy me dinner. They don't owe me anything, though. I'm not mad at them.
I can't even get to the doctor to get my medicines. I can't do a thing. I am crying out loud but NO ONE is here to hear me. (except for me the neighbor right now. I saw her in the bed by the window as it was open and decided to knock up and she said come in because she looked frail).
Mind you I am only 32 years old. I have lost my youth. I don't know what to do. Not only medical-- but emotional issues too. I've had so much trauma in my life that this life is getting hard to want to live in. I'm not suicidal and i'd never end it. I just want a little better of a life. I faint constantly. I have seizures so frequently. I just want to see the sun or moon again. I've been trapped inside all the time. I can't be in the heat due to my failing lungs. My wish? To move where it is cold. I have absolutely NO MONEY. I can't work from home because I can't do any job. I have no one to fill out my SSI paperwork. (I told her I would help her but I am actually moving myself this week.) I have no one to turn to. I have not a dime to my name and I feel I'm getting much worse.
You sound like a Brit so, what you do is get your neighbour or your fiancee to phone Social Services or your doctor's surgery to make them aware that you desperately need either a daily, visiting or live-in carer.
Frankly, I'm surprised that your GP isn't aware of the extent of your incapacitation and hasn't done something about it already to get you the day-to-day help you need even for basic human functions and to which you're entitled as well as more than qualified for receiving (and that includes counselling)! And what about your neighbour - she's seen for herself, now, right? So how come she wasn't straight on the phone to the authorities to find out why you'd escaped their radar?
Get your fiance to do it. He can phone them from work in his lunch-hour if need be. You needn't say a thing, just leave this displayed on your monitor and point to it.
Other than that, I do not know what to suggest, I just know it's RIDICULOUS that in this day and age here you are, basically forced to be a vegetable but with no-one doing anything about it.
I just wondered (to the neighbour) instead of writing to a problem page who can only offer some advice, wouldn't this letter be better posted to the relevant medical services in your area? or the doctor in charge? or some MP (not sure which country you're in) and try get some actual help?