My partner wants to move to the same country as his parents,
My story is regarding the partner, I have been with for a couple of years and I am so confused, about where to go next in life. We met each other in one of them moments where it was unexpected and has always felt like it was meant to be. We started dating and everything was great, I had my own place and he lived at home with his mum and dad. My partner always wanted me to go to his and never wanted to come to mine, he always wanted me round his family, which yes I got on with. We had been dating at the time for 6 months and me and my partner we're going great, we felt we were ready for the next step, although my partner had other ideas, he didn't want to move in to my place he wanted me to move in to the home he lived with his mum and dad, I felt like I didn't want. To loose him so I did, are relationship started to become difficult as there was no place to relax just me and him, he always wanted to be with his mum and dad, sometimes when we argued I would get in to my car and come back to my place just to have some space and to feel I could be me again.
My background growing up is different to my partners, my mum died aged 17 from years of having cancer, my dad left weeks after as he met another women so me and my twin brother, had to get on with life sticking together and looking out for each other. When I was living with my partners mum and dad, I did like the family aspect that I was missing, but I was 28 and hadn't depended on anyone for years, I don't feel like my partner or his parents respected that.
The problem lies with, my partners parents decided they wanted to move abroad but my partner had never took interest in the country they were moving to, so it was going to be just them two together making a life for themselves. They were quite happy leaving there boy to have his life with me, although I did feel they day they moved, my partner only moved in with me because he didn't have a choice. First of all my partners parents moved to a caravan while they were finding a home abroad, things couldn't of been better in our relationship, they were down the road, so he could still see them and we were happy.
This is the point were it went wrong, they moved abroad and we decided to visit after two weeks of them going, I thought it would ease the situation of them going and not to long of gap of them seeing each other.
Everything changed in our relationship, my partner said he wanted to move to the country and did realise how much he missed his mum and dad, a soon as he said this to his mum and dad, there was no regard to my feelings and they were wanting us to get moved over asap and offered to pay for everything etc, at not one point did my feelings matter, it's something in the future I might want to do but not right now, I love visiting my mums grave and seeing my twin brother, he's going through a tough relationship and it's not the right time for me to leave everything I have known. I feel so sad and upset, it's been making me ill, yes I love my partner but since we have been back we do nothing but argue and he resents me, he wants to talk to his dad now when we argue making me feel distant, I don't talk about my problems to family as I don't want them looking at my partner diffiferently that's why I have wrote this on a forum. Any advice would be great. Thank you for reading.
Define 'meant to be'. You and he could have been 'meant to be' just for a couple of years...Stepping stone rather than actual riverbank. I mean, meant to be WHAT? Together as an adult couple enjoying a mature, adult relationship? Hardly! He's not qualified, is he. He doesn't even want to leave home yet! Even given the chance to take a developmental step up, he preferred the idea of regressing and simply taking you backwards WITH him. What are you - Teddy?
That is not a grown man. And you can't have a serious relationship with a child. You can, however, step to your next stone or the ultimate destination (the bank) via him.
You obviously know this which will be why you kept hold of your own place as your safehouse. You even CALL him 'their *boy*'. Actions!
No, of course his parents didn't respect your age-befitting sense of independence; they're used to a BABY with a hairy chest. In fact, they're probably the ones who 'kittenified' him in the first place. ...And now baby would even prefer to move to a country he has no particular longing for, just so's not to have to function without mamma and dadda, and can't even conduct his own arguments with you without asking dadda to help.
Is he determined to end up back in nappies, or what?!
However, you do actually (Like Attracts Like) have a similar problem because you obviously see your twin brother as your home/parental (and child) symbol and you can't leave him (yet) either. So in actual fact, NEITHER of you two are ready to be fully-functioning adults, are you, just in slightly different ways.
The signs are OBVIOUS that this is *not* your be-all-and-end-all relationship but a practise one. Time to part ways, thank him for the good times and 'find' yourself a *man*.