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Loveless marrage

Posted by
YORKSHIRELADY
on Jun 15 2015 at 12:51
Member since: 15 June 2015
Relationship advice Iv Been Married nearly 25 years,been with him 26. our relationship has had its ups and downs like most.in the early years, things were tough , amonth after getting married, I became pregnant. Due to a family member pulling out of the sale of there house, we were going to buy. we ended up living in my mums house. we finally got a council house the day my eldest child was born. But i had to have a c-section and couldn't see the state of it till i was allowed home. it was the worst place in the world but my mum just wanted us out so much so the day we moved in she waved us goodbye and locked the back Gate as if to say Dont come back .but my husband and I did our best and 2 yrs later baby no.2 arrived i didn't do very well with this pregnancy.and suffered PND.i didn't get any support from his parents or my mum and ended up seeing a Mental Health Nurse. but our sexlife was ok and he would tell me how much he loved me even when the pounds started to stay.then 2&1/2 years after our second was born i found out i was pregnant again. this time to our surprise it was Twins.when they were born I was so different the happiness i had for these premature Babies was overpowering . but the doctors advised no more children. my husband told then while having another c-section he`d sort it. but did not and a year later i had to go into hospital to be sterilized .In 2008 my father-in law died that's when i saw a change in my husband. he was spending more time at his mothers than with his own family i even made him cry when i said his responsibilities where with his own family.since then it has got worse .Remember what princess Diana once said? there where there of them in the marriage? thats how if feels to me. his mother is very ill and is always expecting him to do things for her(even though he has a older brother) he wont do anything for me.he does the cooking when im at work and shopping but nothing in the house or garden. we haven't had sex in weeks/months he doesn't even give me a cuddle in bed never mind a kiss on the cheek . i know he`s got a lot on his mind financially so have I but i miss the closeness and its just not there i feel i live with a flatmate not a husband sorry iv gone on so long
Loveless marrage
Reply from
WINTERSUN
on Jun 15 2015 at 20:51
Member since: 07 May 2015
No you didn't go on so long at all, I'm sure you have plenty more to say. It must be tough having 4 kids, I have 2 (even though I would have liked 4) but it can't be easy. Especially if you are not in your 'dream' house, ok not a lot are but to come home from hospital with your new baby, to somewhere that you're not that happy in can put a strain on you. And as the years go on, I won't even go on about those extra pounds! I'm still in the 'I'll start tomorrow' stage.

Your husband is the younger brother, is he the youngest child? He is still his mothers 'baby' and perhaps he was the one who was closest to her so now that his dad has gone, his mother is leaning on him. And maybe he feels guilty if he didn't do more when his father were alive and is now trying to make up for that. Do your children still live with you? Why don't you surprise him with a romantic night in, and let him focus on you and explain to him how you're feeling (I'm sure you have already) but try make him see that as much as he is going through a tough time, financially, his father passing and his sick mother, that you are going through it too.

Tell him you miss his closeness and you want your husband back not to feel like ou are living with a flatmate. Do you go with him to help his mother? Maybe if you went he would see that you care and what your are looking for isn't unreasonable. You are a wife a mother a woman! and you want to feel appreciated and loved. You want to know he still loves you and still finds you attractive. Some men have to be told, because sometimes they can't read our silences let alone when we actually tell them! and then say geez I didn't realize. So maybe he just doesn't see the same situation as you see it.

So order that pizza, dvd and bottle of wine and tell him.

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