Asking for some advice or thoughts
Ok rather lengthy but bear with me, He and I met through a social site over a year ago, our relationship has moved rather quickly, he moved in with me and we became engaged with in the first few months. Because of his move he left his old job and started a new business. Last month on a trip we tied the knot at a cute church, we are still planning a big ceremony with family and friends but we couldn't help ourselves. He really does make me happy but there are some things lately that are bothering me. He has family but they are all out of state and other then his two teenagers he doesn't talk to any of them. We both had long term relationships prior, I am a widow after a 32 year marriage and he had ended a 12 year marriage. Now the issue is, he said he filed for divorce 7 years ago and was under the impression all was completed, well we recently found out that his divorce was never finalized legally. So our marriage is null and void, he swears he didn't know. We also found out that he had a probation violation stemming from an OWI charge back when he was going through his break up. Again he thought it was done and over with but it was not. We are taking care of the probation thing and I have gotten him all the paperwork to process the divorce. So far the only thing filled out on the divorce paperwork I what I filled out for him. He tried to call her to see if he could send the stuff to her and get it sent back right away but so far nothing. With all of this coming out of the closet I have noticed he has been drinking more. Don't get me wrong I like to have a few drinks here and there myself and normally I don't have an issue but it is getting to be a bit much. He doesn't go to the bars or on any rampages or anything he just sits up at night drinking beer. When I try to talk to him he seems to get agitated and defensive. My late husband had a drinking problem, he would become very angry and verbally abusive when he drank. He has never gotten that bad but I think that has a lot to do with my feelings. I know I have a right to be upset and he knows I am upset but am I being paranoid, should I give him the benefit of the doubt? Should I push about the divorce or wait till the probation thing is taken care of? I am really confused by all of this, I feel in my heart if he knows he isn't divorced he should be jumping all over getting it completed. I must say I am also a little worried about what else I might find out about him.
That is the issue when you move in to quickly in a relationship before you get to know the other person. Since your marriage is "null and void", count that as a blessing, and I suggest don't rush into marrying this guy. Get to know him (over a year is not enough IMO to tie the knot) and see what other things can you unfold.
Meanwhile, if he wants his divorce to be completed in a proper way, he needs to hire an attorney to do it. He appears to be fishy to me according to what you described. I would approach this relationship with more caution.
Why doesn't he talk to his family?