My husband and I have been together for 7year and got married a few months ago. We are both in our late 20's. We have always had a very active sex life.
Awhile back he starter going on adult chat sites. He also started looking at swinger sites and wanted us to join a swingers group. Luckly the idee of another man close to me made him think twice about the venture.
But I noticed at night while he thought I was sleeing, he would be busy on his phone. It was obvious he was messaging some. I comfront him about the occurensen but he simple denied that he was talking on chat sites and he was messaging a friend.
This messaging did not stop and I tried to ignore it, hoping he would get bored with it. After some time I could no longer ignore the fact that he was talking to other women about sex, fantasies and desires. He admitted that he was active on a chat site.
He told me it was nothing to be worried about and it was simple role play. He now openly sits and talks to these women infront of me. I know what they must be talking about since its a adult chat site. It bothers me a great deal and it makes me incredibly sad.
Why does he have the need to talk to other women to get him in the mood? And when we have sexual relation, its always in the back of my mind that he might be thinking of these women instead of me. My confidence as a women is vanishing. I've told him how I feel, but he says he desires me as much as always and I don't have to worry. I know he loves me, but does he realy desire me. I have no one to talk to about the situation. I feel alone and sad.
So what you're saying is he was relatively well-behaved and treated you right for 7 years straight but that all that suddenly changed the 'minute' he got a ring on your finger? Or does 'a while back' mean he was doing this PRIOR to the wedding date?
Nothing to worry about? Er, the rest of the healthy population would disagree strongly with him on that score! So what does that make him?
He may not be committing adultery in the way people are most familiar with, but, make no mistake, that's precisely what he's doing.
So, re-refer to my opening question.
Methinks you have no choice but to gather up the last of your self-esteem and annul the marriage in the knowledge that neither you nor any woman deserves to be treated so shoddily by her so-called husband-soulmate. Frankly, I can't believe you've been tolerating this, let alone to the extent where he now feels perfectly safe enough to sit there and cheat right in front of you!
Clearly, you telling him you're unhappy doesn't bother him a jot. So stop 'telling' and SHOW him! But not for the purposes of making him stop and preserving this marriage. Because if he could treat you of all people like this as well as refuse to stop despite KNOWING how cruel it is and what effect it would have on ANY spouse then he's a very nasty little man indeed.