I know that this is on me and the issues are mine but I dont know how to stop feeling like I do. Im here to ask for advice. Does anyone have any??
Thx ♡ Remmy
When you can state that you feel trapped and controlled then no wonder you feel unsafe. Two loving partners work instinctively to keep each others heart safe and if this is not happening, then your wife is basically indicating to you that she owns you and this perceived ownership is the real problem because that's where her insecurity is coming from and is contributing to her jealousy and possessiveness. Sure, she does everything to make you happy, but you are also paying a price for this happiness otherwise you wouldn't be here.
There is nothing wrong with you but it's obvious that you are in a challenging relationship which isn't making you feel wanted and needed, rather it's making you feel miserable and confused. You are questioning yourself and your sense of self worth because of your wife's insecurity. If you feel(or have ever felt) that you are walking on eggshells and that you constantly go out of your way to make your partner happy or you have do things her way to keep her happy, then you will eventually walk away because there is only so much a person can do to make a partner constantly happy, before it grinds them down.
It doesn't matter if you have teens in the marriage who push the limits(most of them do)or if your own 2 children's Dad is still there, the fact is that if your relationship was a two way street of love, trust and respect then your wife would be standing right beside you, assisting you to overcome any dramas and in turn would be contributing to a ever developing bond between the pair of you. It shouldn't be a fight, rather it should just one the of the continuous bumps in the marriage road which two people willingly smooth out with communication and co-operation.
Regardless, if you really feel the issues are yours then you need to be true to yourself and make some hard decisions as to what's best for you and your children because above all else, your children need you to be happy and healthy for them to be the same.
And there lies our main issue. I have communication issues. I bottle up everything and I mean everything. And ahe was to break every though and syllable. Because she is so emotional I have other concerns about speaking freely ontop of the issue that I hate talking about my concerns, I like to handle everything myself. (But I work myself into a helpless circle) so I know im the problem, I just dont know how to fix it and still keep a bit of my sanity too.
Four kids CAN affect a marriage, especially in a blended family.
If the new wife is over emotional, jealous, possessive, and over analyzes everything (wow - classic controlling techniques) and you find it difficult to speak up, no wonder you feel overwhelmed and think that it's all your fault!
You are not happy. That comes thru your words.
If you want to hold this marriage together, then speak up and suggest family counseling.
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