What is going on?
A wee quick breakdown of my issue... I don't usually partake of forums etc but reading some of these and some of the help and insight people on here have provided I would be very grateful if someone would help :)
Basically, I was asked out by a female friend and I said no, because she had already rejected me by dating another guy, a week after we kissed. Months passed by and not a word til she broke up with him, then a few month after she asked me out (in the same sentence as telling me she had sex with a guy I know). I naturally said no after that and went on to see another girl. It wasn't right and we broke up.. me and my female friend started hanging again and this time I asked her out. She said NO. And she did it exactly how I did, to the very letter. Anyhoo since then, I have still spent time with her and we always have fun, until recently she has started saying I'm irritating, and she has started getting really p***ed off with me over nothing. I have started to take the back foot and apologise, again something I wouldn't normally do unless I was in the wrong, but it seems to be the only thing that changes her mood and gets her to talk to me again. Then she started making fun of the weight I've put on, it's hardly anything and she never mentioned it before until she started calling me irritating and getting moody with me, I work out so I have a muscular shape and a tiny bit of fat shouldn't really be that obvious.
Also she does things like hangs off me and says she misses me, then ignores me and starts flirting with guys in front of me, these are guys she says ask her out but she would never be interested in them. I'm genuinely at a loss, I honestly am in the process of just wiping her from my life and trying my best to move on.. which isn't what I want, but this is stressing me out and ruining my peace of mind.
On a side not incase this helps, she used to message and want to hang with me a lot, but anytime we got close she would vanish. This time though since I;ve asked her out she's been the exact opposite.
Honestly I have gone from an "alpha" type male to a bumbling fool that's almost scared to make a joke with her, especially in front of people, incase she cracks up at me, as each time she does I am a millisecond away from telling her to shut the hell up and stop being so bloody moody and making snide comments about me, but something stops me from doing it. No one else would do this with me as they know I won't stand for being made a fool of, outside of mates having a laugh.
Hopefully someone can explain this, even if it;s to say I am in the wrong here, I want peace of mind and to settle it.
Thannl you for your time reading this :D
"I have gone from an "alpha" type male to a bumbling fool"
Either this gal wants you to show your alpha and demonstrate some reaction to her provocative actions
she's a hopeless flirt and likes to play games, including humiliating you in front of your friends.
You can figure this out.
Well, I know what will happen if I do react normally, she will go into meltdown mode but I suppose if Id o, I will get my confidence back and whatever the outcome, I will know for sure. If she stays away and stays angry at me then she was out to humiliate me, maybe for the original rejection. If however she goes back to how she was, funny and kind and most of all happy, then I'll be over the moon, even if it doesn't lead to us getting together.. I just want my confidence back, her to be happy again and I'd be happy to have my friend back.
Thank you Susie
I meant to add something else, the other day when she said to me "I miss you" and held my arm.. I was thinking to myself "you don't ever want to talk or spend time with me now, so what do you mean you miss me?" But as I said, I really don't question anything she says now incase she falls out with me again.
Selfish, manipulative, and hypocritical. Get out of that environment.
Why have a relationship with anyone where you feel you have to walk on eggshells?
You are NOT being YOURSELF. This won't last long, for sure.
She isn't selfish, not in general, in fact she's pretty generous and 9/10 really nice to people, not even a fake nice, like you can tell, but a real, genuine nice. It really is to do with me, I think asking her out after that has p****d her off or hurt her deep down and she is or was trying not to let it... after she asked me out I avoided her and cancelled meeting up a few times, which was more to do with me trying not to let myself get involved, as I do have and had feelings for her.. I would've came across as really cold.. If I could change things I would have said yes, but it's too late now and this is just ruining any friendship we had. Either way I think some space is what's needed, hopefully she feels better with it and I gain my self esteem back also, and if we don't speak again, it is a huge loss but it may be to both our benefits, sadly enough.
Thank you both :)