I had a fight with my best friend (don't know what to do)
Hey! I've been reading all kinds of ways to overcome a fight with a friend but I can't get it right for my very own situation.
I'm Jorge from Mexico City and my best friend's name's Miguel, we've been friends since we entered university in 2012. But now we had an argue last friday when Ana my friend, Miguel and I were with a group of friends in a bar. It's almost the end of this semester and some guys threw an event at a night club. I wanted to go since I learnt about it but my friends said they were running out of money and since I got a new job, I kinda have more than before.
But then, at the bar, Miguel was drinking with his other friends who were at another table while I was with my mates, and then he came to tell me he wanted to go to that party I told you before at the night club which was gonna be thrown that evening and I accepted and invited my friend Ana to come along. She got a guy that had a free ticket and I had a friend who was selling them last week, and also with a discount. Then we went there and agreed to party hard since they gave us free drinks along with the ticket til 3am. The group of friends that encouraged him to go were there and well, since I go more often to parties, I really need to drink a lot, a huge amount of booze to get really really drunk. But not my friend, he is weaker with alcohol and then at 2 am, Ana and me noticed he was about to pass out, he was actually very drunk and since we got there on his car, told him it was better to leave.
Ana and me don't really know how to drive a standard car, and agreed to go eat something to help him get through the effects of alcohol. He drove dangerously but finally got to the restaurant and ate something. Then he told us he'd leave us at Ana's and my house which are close to.
But not his and we were worried about sending him alone to his place, so I called my dad and asked him to go fetch Ana and me at Miguel's, but when we got there, his mom greeted us (even though it was 3:30 in the morning) and sat on his sofas. He layed on a sofa and Ana and me turned his PS3 on to play Uncharted, and since I've got the Xbox 360, I haven't played that game before but knew it's good. So we insisted him to make it work since it appeared the console wasn't responding but he got angry and went upstairs to his room. Ana and me were there and didn't care, we believed it was better to leave when my dad had arrived but then I noticed my phone was running dry and Ana and me were looking everywhere for a charger.
But then Miguel got downstairs and began yelling at us for being too noisy and that his family were sleeping so we tried to calm him down but then he, in his drunken state pushed me very hard and started screaming it was his house, and that we should get the hell out of it so, well I know he was drunk but then his mom and his sister got downstairs to try to calm him down, so I said 'Ana, let's go!' so that we both left and were at the corner of the street, until his mom asked us to get in the house since we could get assaulted and it was really cold outside.
His sister and mom told me they've never seen him like that, that he was unrecognizable and that they expected this was just a drunken guy's argue and it shouldn't last long, that I didn't have to worry that they knew me and asked me to be tolerant since his dad had a facial paralysis, which I knew a month before, and that he hadn't recovered so that might be the reason of why he got mad at us for the minimum amount of noise. Then my dad came by, and when we left Ana at her house, I asked her what to do, she told me not to text him or nothing, that it was his fault and that he should beg my pardon on Monday.
I don't know, my parents learnt what had happened to what my mom told me he was just a douche and to never talk to him again, but my sister encouraged me to wait until he looked for me, that I was the offended and I needed to be proud and not talk to him til he came to discuss things. But I don't know, it's just so difficult, and I'm not used to fight with nobody, not with my girlfriend, not with my friends nor my family and it's something I'm really angry about but also dissapointed And I mean, it's not like I have a weak mind, I know how to be a very proud person and never give in easily. But well I thank you all for reading me til the end while asking you guys to give me some advice to surpass this situation, I also left my house keys in his car before getting into the night club, so I need to get them back, but I'm gonna need to call him at the school to fetch 'em. So, umm, thank you all for advising me.
i think your friend was just drunk and probably had some other issues, you sound like a rational person and i will advice you to introduce boundries to your relationship. if he has been good to you and you have a friendship worth savin then dont be around him when he drinks. thats simple. however i suggest you send him a message or call him to tell him how you feel. if he apologises and accepts he over reacted, then you can both move on. if he doesnt do that, then you need to move on alone.
I am trying to understand how much alchohol can make someone act so irrationally, anyway you know your friend better. next time when you go out together, make sure he gets home ok and take a taxi home. simple. and if he asks you to come in while he is drunk, tell him you rather go home and sleep it off. goodluck!
I think our friendship is actually worth saving, he's been a good friend always but there's been other times he's acted similar and I believe what you say is the best rhing to do. I really like going out for some drinks with my friends and I've never been aggresive nor awkward when I'm drunk but I guess it's time to reduce drinking nights for now and I'm gonna do what you say. I'm calling him tho I don't wanna be seen as the one begging but I guess it's more mature to take the first step isn't it? Thank you for advising me, I guess I wanted somebody to tell me not to be indifferent and try to solve it while keeping my pride.