Not sure what to do
Unfortunately, four weeks' separation at a time peppered with only two together means, not only did you get to spend only a third of your total time together but, four whole weeks is just enough for detachment and grieving to have begun to set in. And that itself means that in order to *reverse* the lost ground each time would require four weeks together, whereas you two had only two. And repeat. AND ADAPT, meaning desensitising, whereby the grieving sensation no longer (for self-protective purposes) registers on the conscious level. That means she would have been steadily, bit-by-bit detaching, even without realising, with insufficient reparation/re-attachment taking place.
In short: two steps forward, four back; two steps forward, four back...
Plus, added to that will have been the fact that a month entirely alone own each time would have necessitated her building a life of her own and basically adapting to being mostly single and living the single life. From there to completely and genuinely single is no great leap, especially when you also factor in how she'll have kept hankering after that job she loved and lost. She probably felt underlying-ly resentful, again without even realising (because it wasn't your fault as such).
And that is why the grand sum total is- not 'NO', but 'DON'T KNOW'. The butting heads is just a symptom.
You're going to have to either change your job back to something more local OR, whenever you're back for those 4 weeks, woo her like a man possessed, like you did back when still daters. Because that, actually, is where this overall reversal will have taken you: back towards starting line territory.
(Is this making sense?)
Until you re-woo her into a team frame of mind, no, she's NOT inclined to agree or seeing that any proposed measure will work.
Surely selling the land is INDEED the solution, whereby it would buy you time to full-time job-hunt? I mean, the rule with anything where concerns de-cluttering or clearing the decks is that if you haven't had a need for something for 6 months or a year at the most - you clearly don't have a need for it so, out it goes.
Also, although it may not be your ideal or dream job, I'd have thought the urgency of this situation warranted you just taking ANY position you could get your hands on, and to view it as a stop-gap?
But as I say - stop expecting her to feel 'in the mood' when she's had more abandonment than wooing. That's the POINT of wooing (think lion that fails to go through the entire neck-nibbling, etc., ritual before trying to clamber onto the female ... we're not actually that different, ritual and triggering wise). Just get wooing asap, behaving how you used to before you managed to bag her, and be ready to put Plan Sell Land into operation once she starts purring again.
Not sure what to do
Not sure what to do
You're doing the right thing because, let's face it, being wealthy doesn't make you happy, it just makes being miserable that bit more comfortable. The primary source of happiness is - well whaddayaknow! - your primary, adult human relationship.
Here's another myth exposure: it's impossible to feel wealthy because your needs (or should that be 'greed') always expand to suit your means, meaning, it becomes like chasing your tail. And from what I've gathered over the years, what with us beans having a finite amount of energy and attention (think spinning plates) - if you're rich in the wallet you're automatically poor in the boudoir. We literally CAN'T have it all (plus, having it all just means DOING it all.) But obviously it's in all government's interests that we try (and s*d whether we run ourselves and our relationships ragged in the process) because the richer you are, the more TAXES you pay. Also, the less sense of community there is (deriving from strong families out of really strong and solid 'mum and dad' relationships) then the more pliable the cash cows that comprise it. And now remember how it's consistently said that the poor tend to be far more generous and charitable than the rich? That's because they know that material wealth beyond a level of mere sufficiency is, well, IMMATERIAL.
So I'd have thought the intelligent thing to do would be to pare down any unnecessary expenses and possessions so that even a fairly menial job could meet what actual fundamentals remain. For starters, you'll have more energy for LUUURVE - to the point where your relationship itself becomes a source of high entertainment and fulfilment, in which case, no it needn't take that much time. But don't wait until the practical paring down's been achieved before you start wooing. Start now. Comments like, 'You look so pretty today, sweetheart'..., putting the hoover and duster around the sitting-room 'just because you noticed it needed it' (which weight-taking is especially important if she's going to be the main earner for a little while), surprise bunches of flowers and choccies - which you can keep up perfectly easily whilst you're still working your notice - along with surprise sweet and sexy texts/emails/phonecalls, that sort of thing (albeit that when you're home, hand-picked bunches make a lady swoon that much more).
But here's the important bit: don't act like you're stood there waiting for a reaction as a pat on the head, like you're doing it for YOU, do it almost like it's second nature, the only natural thing, making out that this decision to sell the land has taken a huge weight off your back and thereby given you the time and head space to feel what was always there, just waiting underneath to burst forth, i.e. you just can't help yourself (she's just too damned gorgeous). Furthermore, act like any initial rejections or shows of discomfort of hers aren't enough to faze you. Think, "URRRRR!" and "Ahhh" mixed together - a VERY powerfully attractive masculine mixture.
But, yep - you've just got to experiment until you find the perfect all-round recipe for success (caveman definition).
Probably didn't even need me to tell you any of that. You sound like you've got your head screwed on exactly right.
Keep us posted?
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