Found out gf has cheated with a old bf tells me she loves him and wants to live with him we have been together now over 12yrs she told me that both love each other we still live together
And sleep in same bed difficult knowing she has cheated stll getting aroused next to her
She has started to see him next weekend for 4days then come back to our house like its normal not understanding my feelings
This could go on now for at least 3months
She is starting to lead two lives this can't be right and she still wants to keep it secret
"this can't be right "
Do ya really think so? Ye gads, man.
'she still wants to keep it secret"
I bet she does!!
"stll getting aroused next to her"
That's how she's getting away with her behavior.
Question: how far will she go before you step in?
She's probably a borderline personality syndrome person, caused by trauma in childhood, usually sexual abuse. How do I know this? Because my wife was that.
You wrote, "She is starting to live two lives." That is exactly right. With the trauma, her ego divided, with the trauma being on the right side, and she, herself, living on the left side of her ego. She has the emotional maturing of a 5 year old, or a 10 or 12 year old, whatever age the trauma occurred.
Her personality disappeared with the trauma, and was replaced by pathological anger, which she keeps hidden except when thins don't go her way, and she explodes like you'll never be able to explode.
Since, she's divided, she does live two lives: one with her other boyfriend, one with you, and she does see nothing wrong with that, for she lives two lives two lives in her mind, and thinks you should be able to see that, because she does. I got arouse around my wife, also, because she was a sex addict.
I had some sex abuse in my childhood, also, so that turned me on about her, cold, indifferent sex, because that's how they learned sex. Were you sexually abused? I was not highly successful, and my wife just kind of kept me around type of thing, for I fit the other side of the divided ego. I was not a huge threat to leave her, for instance, even when she got found out with other boyfriend(s).
It was either that or live alone, so I lived with her. But when her ability to see other guys ended, her child found out why she was coming in late from work), she turned into a psthological monster, bent on destroying me, and since we were married and had a child and buying a house, it wasn't easy to get out of that without losing a lot.
Hey, here's a tip: don't get married.
Hi read your thread by interest I have noticed she has changed she really wants this to work with her new bf doing all the things not making a mistake
She is trying to relieve her early years with this guy not realising how old she is now
Telling me how she they both love each other and nothing going to stop this relationship working
This guy lucky he's meeting a woman he thinks with no baggage
Saying all the right things all the time
He must think he had won the lottery
She was planning her future with him from day 1 meeting
She told me that this guy would be chased by other women when they new he was getting divorced
I think she is getting a kick about this by staying with him for longer periods now
Then when she comes back still shares our bed together so frustrating for me
Does she get some kind of pleasure you think out of this coming back from him on a high and me the other end
Seeing her undress in front of me not able to be close again with her
I would love her to have a argument with guy so he could se other side if her personality
She can turn yes and have her naughty side also when she had had drink
Ian, I notice you've yet to answer a single question of Susiedqqq's?
Why would you allow her to come back after spending a weeekend with this man? Get your dignity back. Man UP!!
What else will you tolerate? Both of them coming back to your place sleeping in your bed with you on couch?